I hope everybody’s Thanksgiving was as thoroughly fattening as mine. I still can’t walk right, and I have enough tryptophan in my system that I’ve been sleeping 12 hours a day since Thursday. The leftovers merely add to the misery, and by misery I mean “extreme joy,” ’cause there ain’t nothin’ so good as Thanksgiving leftovers. Turkey lurkey jerky.

This year my parents went out to Lancaster to be with Mom’s family, and I didn’t particularly feel like doing early food at Sarah’s ‘rents and then driving 90 minutes for another dose of pie, so we just hung out at the in-laws all day and had a righteous time. The food was delicious, despite the apparent disaster that resulted from not having any remaining hard-boiled eggs to put in the gravy (I didn’t even notice, to be honest), and I got to spend an hour or so in the basement with my father-in-law shooting pellets at cans and paper.

After that we watched “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” which I think should become an annual tradition, and enjoyed pie. Then we went home and went to bed, at which time David and Stephen called us at about 11:30 to report that their car had broken down in New Jersey and could I come retrieve them? Luckily, I’m all about driving on empty roads in darkness (seriously!) so I went and snagged them and then returned home and slept until 10am. It was awesome.

Friday we had lunch with Lynn and Dave from Bawst’n, and then I helped Sarah with homework until rehearsal.

Saturday I got up, made pie, and then went to baptize my nephew Nathaniel, which was awesome with a capital Awe. I hadn’t seen him in roughly a month, so I was amused to see that he had porked up considerably. Then we went back to my parents’ house, where I drank too much wine but got to see all kinds of fun family.

Sunday I had church services all day.

I need some turkey and a nap, I think.

If you ever need me to drive you somewhere, 3am on a Tuesday is a great time for it. What I can’t stand are people that call me at like 3pm on Friday and say “Hey, can you drive me to the airport in an hour?” That makes me stabby.