Happy Thanksgiving, one and all! Check it, here’s my list of dope things for which I, and probably others, are thankful:

• Justin Timberlake.
• My family, particularly my new nephew Nathaniel, who is radder than fresh cinnamon buns and twice as tasty.
• Pre-massive-and-terrifying-weightloss Jennifer Connelly.
• My health, which, aside from horrific obesity and lingering acne, has been superb.
• My tongue, which allows me to taste delicious things like fresh cinnamon buns and babies.
• Fat cats that sleep on your head and yell loudly for no reason when you’re on a conference call from home.
• Beer.
• Matthew McConaughey.
• The first good pee of the day.
• Mashed potatoes with butter.
• Shoo-fly pie.
• The fact that HW is pregnant.

Oh, had I not mentioned that? Yeah, I’m hell of gonna be a father in late May. WOOHOO BABIES.