matthearn.com

A plethora of interesting information today, good, bad, and ugly:

• I am NOT a huge fan of this at all. That’s right: some poor woman was murdered, in her own house, about 4 blocks from my home. BAD. TIMES. ALL AROUND. As of the moment, the police have zero suspects. I have a desperate urge to purchase a shotgun, although at the moment I’m rather poor, so I guess I’ll just keep locking the doors (like an idiot, I left the garage open all night on Tuesday night, so I guess I should be glad no one came into my house and carved me up) and praying.
• On a lighter note: Numanuma.
• An open letter to the Kraft corporation:

  To whom it may concern,

  I am writing to request that you make a change to the packaging of some of your varieties of sliced cheese. I am a huge fan of the standard Kraft American Slices, and often wish they were available in a 64-count variety. (Mmmm…64 slices of American cheese.) I am less of a fan of the Mexican flavor of the product, so I simply don’t buy it.

  However, the packaging for the regular flavor and the Mexican flavor is almost exactly the same; same color, same font, merely the addition of a hard-to-see “Mexican” on one container differentiates the two. As a result, I hurriedly ran through my local Acme the other day and accidentally purchased the wrong cheese!

  Please change your packaging to ensure this doesn’t happen again, as the Mexican cheese makes me throw up in my mouth.

  Thank you!

  The Hearn

• Speaking of cheese, I have discovered a new edible delight: cheeseburgers with fried eggs on top. Delicious. And The Cheat likes it as well.
• In other news, my ankle is beginning to feel a little better. As long as I stay off it, I appear to be fine. This isn’t a problem until Saturday, when we’re going to New York; I’m hoping to possible acquire a set of crutches by then, because walking 50-60 blocks over the course of the day does NOT appeal to me in the least. I’ll let you know on Monday how that was, along with a review of the performance of Wicked (which I expect to be awesome) and just how cool NYC has gotten since I was last there in roughly 1999.
• Today’s Googlism: Matt Hearn is actually a SUPERB typist, and resents the implication that a simple typographical error denotes otherwise. Matt Hearn is not, however, a very good proofreader of his own prose.