matthearn.com

The stockings were nailed to the walls in the den
While Hearn knocked back shots of a fine Scottish blend

The lights were all up, about half of them worked
Though the tree kinda stank like an old dirty Turk

The star leaned, precariously, off to the right
A few staples fixed that; it’s now straight, tall and tight

The celluloid tree once had ornaments on’t,
But the cats knocked them off as is always their wont.

There were odors of spices and food in the air,
Though still, a faint odor of cat piss was there.

Outside, lights were strewn on the poor dead tree/stick.
(They should rip it out, as it’s far beyond sick.)

A cheap plastic reindeer with one broken hoof,
and “Inflatable Frosty” rest up on the roof.

At Walmart they purchased a small Santa gnome,
Like something you’d find by an old mobile home.

The neighbors from time to time can be a pain;
“That eyesore’s a nuisance!” they call to complain.

They may whine and bitch, but someday they will learn
That no one does Christmas-time quite like Team Hearn.