I’m amused that #mileycomeback is the top trending topic on Twitter today. Makes me think of this:
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I know it’s been lame around here; we just bought a house, so stuff is CUH-RAZAY. To make up for it, I give you this: This is crazy: Garfield Minus Garfield continues to slay me.
HW and I got engaged over a decade ago, long before it became vogue for the recently affianced to hire a professional photographer to follow you around a municipal park for three hours, posing pictures on rocks and flora. (We got our professional engagement photo taken at J.C. Penney’s, I think.) So we missed out, I guess, on all the hilarity. I usually remember that Keith Olbermann is wicked smaht, but I always forget that he writes very well. His act was always the same. He was there when the park opened, and he stayed till it closed. And any time he thought Mauch could possibly see him, he raised his sign, which read, simply “BUNNING.” If he had one friend with him, that guy carried another sign reading “AND SHORT,” but there was supposedly a three-man version (one fellow with “AND” and the other with “SHORT.”). “He has to be reminded,” I heard the guy say. “He has to be reminded, every year, what he did.” He goes on to explain who should replace Brad Lidge as the Phillies’ closer, and let me tell you, I’m convinced: And one Philly starter offers these numbers in the first innings of his games: .219 opposing batting average, .259 opposing on base percentage, less than one base-runner per first inning, 3.41 ERA. Another maps out at a.197 BA, .288 OBP, 1.05 WHIP, 1.35 ERA. I’m not sure why Joe Blanton has such a high first-inning ERA if his WHIP is under 1; perhaps he just gives up too many home runs, 30 on the year so far, compared to Happ’s 18. Since the absolute last thing you want a closer to do is give up a home run, perhaps Happ is the better option. I wish he threw harder, though. 99 Bricks! It’s like Tetris, but…the opposite, I think? It’s way harder than it seems to be. My top score so far is 360. Charles Babbage was so misunderstood. This killed me. And you can do it with any site! Brilliant. |
