Are you coming to see The Wizard of Oz at Brandywine High School? It’s running tonight, 4/10, to Saturday 4/12, nightly at 7pm, with a matinee on Saturday at 2. If you AREN’T coming, you better live far away, ’cause I’ll be making a list of everybody I know that doesn’t show up and KICKING THEIR ASSES. But I’ll make exceptions for people of great distance ’cause it’s just not worth the drive.

(Note: I’m no more capable of kicking an ass than I am of impregnating a tree. But did I at least sound tough and manly? It’d be a first!)

The show is going pretty well, although having all the extra rehearsal time we have this year (the shows are roughly 3 weeks later in the year than the last spring production, which went up in mid-March) actually made us a little lackadaisical for a while. Learn that chorus? Bah, we’ve got three months! Oops, now it’s April. Still, Sarah was able to teach all the choreography in record time, which was nice, and I got all the chorus stuff taught pretty early, for me.

In the end, the show came together, as shows always seem to do. We had our touch-up rehearsal yesterday, which went a long way towards polishing things, so I’m looking forward to tonight, not least because I spend the few hours before a performance trying not to throw up, but once it starts I’m too busy to think about how nervous I am. I know what you’re thinking: Nervous? Matt Hearn? That’s ridiculous! It’s true I don’t often get nervous before I have to SING anything, but then you have to remember that I’m a REALLY good singer, but a mediocre conductor at best. I consider a show a success if I take the tempos slow enough that none of the dancers hurt themselves.

Don’t let the possibility of injury dissuade you from coming, though, ’cause remember: I’LL BE KICKING YOUR ASS. (No I won’t.)