All right all you Jack Samsonites put on your face eyes and listen with your hair ears because I have a QUESTION and I know at least one of my readers has an IQ above 40 and MIGHT be able to answer it so HERE. IT. GOES.
Well, actually, there’s some background first.
I’m trying to get into good shape. I tire of the low-carb diet because
- I like carbs, and
- If you go off the low-carb diet for a day, you’re totally screwed and basically have to start over.
So boo to that. Right now I’m just trying not to overdo my daily caloric intake, and ALSO I’m biking between 50 and 100 miles a week. My reasonably conservative calculations would indicate that I burn about 45 calories for each mile that I bike, so hopefully my total caloric output is lower than my intake and I’m burning off my ass in small amounts every day.
This would be diesel.
My digital scale at home seems to indicate I weigh about 235, which is fine, although at the doctor’s this morning (I went for an allergy checkup: I have allergies, they are fine) they weighed me, in my heavy clothes, at 234. So who knows. I might want to invest in a scale that wasn’t made in an 8th world country. So I have some ways to go.
In addition to my bike-riding, I’d like to do some kind of calisthenic workout every day that would help with flexibility and strength without bulking me up. It might be out of reach, really, but I wouldn’t mind being mad ripped without getting large; I’m already massive and scary enough without being massively muscular, so I’m not much interested in lifting weights. Also: weightlifting hurts, and I hate it. I’ve done a little poking around online, and the only thing that I really found that approximates an actual “program” is this thing by Matt Furey, who by most accounts is a con artist.
My question that I pose is this: if I were to develop a calisthenic program for flexibility and basic strength, what exercises should it include? I’m assuming I’ll need the basics, like pushups, crunches, maybe some chair dips, lunges, etc. I’d prefer not to duplicate efforts, and I’d prefer not to use weights (so I’d rather do, say, pullups, than bicep curls with dumbbells). TELL ME, PEOPLE, WHAT YOU THINK.
So from what very little I know (yes, I’m on the skinny side, but I somehow manage not to have strength OR flexibility) the two do not go hand-in-hand. Any Yoga-type thing will help with flexibility. Yoga freeks will get on me for “dumbing it down” like this, but Yoga is just a bunch of stretches that you hold for a REALLY long time during which you use your breathing to sssttttrreeeetttttcchhhh just a little bit more, and flexibility ensues. Strength training builds muscles by tearing the muscle fibers in half so that when they regenerate the muscle is bigger and stronger. You listed a pretty good set for at-home workouts, but you have to make sure you balance everything out. So if you do crunches (and make sure at least once a week you do some kind of side/oblique crunch) you should also do equal amounts of lower back work. If you’re not going to use weights, the best exercise to do is lay on your stomach in a “Superman” or diving-into-a-pool pose. Then lift both your arms and your legs off the ground so only your crotch-region is touching the ground, hold it as long as you can. You can modify it so that you rock back and forth or so that you do one arm and the opposit leg at the same time. Chair dips, especially with your feet on a second chair are great for tricepts; pullups for bicepts (thus balancing the arms). Pushups work the chest and upper back. Moving your hands together works the tricepts more, farther apart works the chest. You can also play around with the angle of your hands – moving your palms out also works your chest more. You can do incline/decline pushups with a chair or sofa. You can do negatives (go down as slow as possible to the point that it doesn’t look like you’re moving), although those do hurt a bit. There’s less you can do for your legs at home, but lunges are about the best. If you put the balls of your feet on the edge of a step, lower yourself and then do calf raises it works the entire range of muscle. That’s about it for standard workouts. You can get one of those Yoga/workout balls and do pushups, twists, raises, etc. with that which really work your “core” muscles. But if you’re just going for the “girl” muscles (meaning the ones girls like – bi’s, tri’s, pecs, lats, abs) don’t worry ’bout that.
Pilates, dude. Add strength without bulk. I have some DVD’s you could borrow… HW would likely enjoy watching the attempts since much of it is dance-related!
dude, didn’t I see you having a black belt certificate? Just walk out back and practice various kickings for 30 minutes, or until you collapse, with massive amounts of stretching thrown in for good measure. Preferably after biking/running, so you’re warm and able to stretch more.
my partner and I have been on the South Beach diet since the end of May. Even when we cheat, we don’t gain too much back. I was a PIG when I went to the beach with my parents and only put 2 lbs back on. My partner added 3, but since he had lost 26, it’s not a big deal.
screw it man… “I’ll be mellow when I’m dead” so the song says.
Oh, on the serious note – look up the Glycemic Index. That’s the key to eating where your body isn’t in sugar/carb cloudness.