Can someone PLEASE explain to me why everybody likes the White Stripes so much? Ya know? What the hell. Let’s review. We have a brother and sister combo consisting of:

• The brother, who plays guitar mediocrely and piano at about the level of a 7-year-old with only two fingers on his or her left hand, and who also “sings” unintelligible lyrics at the top of his lungs.
• The sister, who plays the drums like she’s having some kind of seizure and can’t play a fill worth two craps in a plastic baggie.

They dress up like they’re going to crash a Goth wedding and record an album, and everybody’s like, “Oh my God! They’re the rebirth of music!” I saw them on the Daily Show last week and said “Man, this is the vaunted White Stripes? They sound more like the Skidmarks.”

I just don’t get it, is all.