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Some of you have heard me use the word “awesome” in the past to describe things that I like. Some may think that I use the word too lightly, to describe things that are not really “awesome,” but are merely “super” or “cool” or even “neato.” Thusly, in order that you may understand what I mean, I will not use the word “awesome” to describe the weekend of January 8th and 9th; instead, I will invent yet another lengthy adjective. I’m going with:

Superhumongofreakyfridaycooltasticawesomalicious.

Saturday morning we awoke, stretched, ritually cleansed our bodies (we like to use censers and holy water and stuff; it’s expensive, but WE’RE trying to get into HEAVEN, thank you very much), and caravanned with Fitzy and Rece down to Baltimore. There, we met with Jared, who came up from DC, and Ungafkdalfskljsky and Aaron who as usual were running horribly late due to Ungadjkfs;ldkfjsky having been out for his birthday the night before. Then we went to see: Hi-5.

Shaun Taylor-Corbett, who plays the role of “Shaun” on the TV show and subsequent tour, is a Ychrome Alumnus (and singer of No Diggity and Insomniac: see Ychromes Alumni Concert) and good-hearted fellow who hooked us up with free tickets roughly 15 feet from the stage. They sang all their hits, including “Robot #1” (a personal favorite), “Pizza Pizza Pizza,” and “Straight Outta Compton.”

Even better, we were a group of 7 adults, with no obvious children near us, at a concert geared for humans under the age of 7, so we garnered a lot of attention from the parents of children near us. Their expressions varied from “warm amusement” through “cold annoyance” straight on to “stark terror,” and during intermission a number of them came up and asked us which of the performers we knew. It was like being in Allen Iverson’s posse, except we were slightly less likely to be shot at.

Highlights of the show:

• During the “Captain Puffypants” number, when the two pirates (Curtis and Kimmee) bump into each other and there’s a moment of chaos on the stage, Shaun leaping into a sudden karate stance. You had to be there, I think, but we almost wet our pants. The best part about it was, after we revealed to Kimmee how much we were amused by him doing that, at the DC show she apparently almost lost it when she turned around and he was in his “clenching dragon” stance, staring right at her.
• Shaun revealing that the best frogs in the world come from “Puerrrrrto Rrrrrrico!” Again, you had to be there. Having already peed my pants, I nearly poop’d ’em.
• Jenn sang a very pretty lullaby that got us all a little choked up. It was pretty dusty in the Hippodrome, I’ll tell you.
• Shaun doing all the songs involving Latin beats, despite the fact that he is not predominantly Hispanic, but is predominantly Blackfoot Native American. This never failed to slay us.
• During Curtis’ Star Song, the name of which escapes me, he asked the audience to essentially coax the stars out by doing spirit fingers. In unison, all 7 of Shaun’s idiot friends in the 5th row all put their hands above their heads and started waggling their fingers. To the parents around us, this was beyond hilarious. One gentleman immediately behind us definitely let loose a horribly inappropriate guffaw that echoed through the theater. It ruled.
• Shaun is basically a rockstar for 5-6 year olds. It’s unbelievable. He went offstage at one point and a little boy behind us almost wept. “Shaun!” he cried, sniffing back tears and choking on his oversized tongue. At the end of the show, kids started streaming down the aisles to give highfives to the performers, and one enterprising young man held up a massive red sign reading, “Shaun, please hug me!” We were all like WHAAAAT?

Sadly, Karla did not do the “how to make a pizza” scene which features the lines: “SPLAT! All over my face! I guess it went too high!”

I also got about 50 pictures of the show that I plan to post over the course of the week.

Afterwards, we managed to get into the autograph signing session, where we met the cast, and got all kinds of things signed, including a massive poster/program that Sarah bought at the show. Oh yeah: that’s going in a place of honor on the ceiling over our bed. Then Shaun ran off and changed clothes, and we drove to Fells Point where we spent too much money on a totally awesome dinner at John Steven’s, featuring Brie with Chambord glaze, clams, crab cakes, and totally righteous beers. Kimmee met us there, and then we all headed back to their hotel where we met up with Jenn at the hotel bar and hung out for a few hours, before meandering back to New Castle for naptime.

Sunday we had church in the morning (the bishop was there, so the service was 1 hour and 45 minutes long), and then skedaddled down to Fairfax, VA, for Conner’s 1st birthday party. (I have plenty of pictures of that as well.) It went about as 1st birthdays usually go, except that Conner wanted nothing to do with the cake, so we were sadly spared the classic picture of the birthday boy with cake all over his face, hair, and the surrounding walls and floor.

After that wound down, we headed back into DC where we met up with the Hi-5 crew again, watched “24” in Jenn’s room, and then headed to the “Green Lantern” for Karaoke. The Green Lantern turned out to be a gay bar (one with which Jared was unsurprisingly familiar), which is not a problem, except that it was completely packed. There was no way we were going to be able to get on the stage, so we bailed.

ATTENTION any gay folks at the Green Lantern: when 3 guys and 2 girls wandered in around 10:30pm, looked around for 45 seconds, and then bailed, it was not because we fear homosexuality. Nay, we embrace it closely, as being raised by 10-15 gay mothers resulted in my ability to decorate, cook, and dress with flair and style. The bar was simply too full, too loud, and too smoky. Also, much like at the club in London, I kept getting glances from middle-aged men wearing shirts that would have been too tight on a 7 year old midget.

We wandered back a bit to a bar called Stoney’s, on L street, where we ate cheesesteaks and fries and tossed back a friendly beer or three before bidding our comrade Shaun good luck on the rest of the Hi-5 tour (coming to a major metropolis near you!!!), and heading home, where we arrived at 1:30am, exhausted, but awesome.

Having hung out with three of the 5 members of the American Hi-5 Team, I can report the following:

• Kimmee: Totally awesome, totally sweet, totally hilarious, also easily freaked out when, for example, Jared comes up and taps on your car window and asks for your license and registration while you’re parked on a street in Baltimore waiting for the rest of your crew to find you. Her hair is also rad.
• Jenn: The only person I’ve ever met who is actually BETTER looking than her headshot would indicate. She is deeply concerned about the fate of Jack Bauer and Secretary of Defense Heller’s hot daughter.
• Shaun TC: Shaun is basically the nicest, kindest person I have ever met in my nearly 27 years of existence. If he was a chick, he’d either be 1) the one that everybody loves because she’s so awesome, or 2) the one that everybody hates because she’s so awesome. Luckily, as a dude, he’s not subject to the same bizarre chick rules, so he’s just the bomb. He also is deeply interested in kicking some pirate ass.

Pictures will hopefully be coming tomorrow. Be prepared for them to be EXTRAsuperhumongofreakyfridaycooltasticawesomalicious.