I have received a note. It does not, unfortunately, read, “Bubba has big titties.” (That’s an inside joke that 3 of my readers will get. Maybe.) Instead, it actually reads:
Now, one would think that “catching typos on the front of official mailings” would be rather important to the Republican Party of Delaware, but apparently not. I considered contacting them to discuss the possibility of hiring me (at significant cost, obviously) to proofread everything they send out, but
- the last thing I need is my liberal hippie friends finding out I’m working for the Republican Party,
- Republicans, despite being the party of the wealthy, are notorious tight with a dime, and
- I was afraid the phone conversation would go something like this:
Them: Republican Party of Delaware, how can I help you help us help Bush?
Me: Greetings! I wanted to make you aware that there is a significant typo on the front of the mailing I have received from you.
Them: Oops. Um…our, uh, bad. I don’t suppose there’s any chance you might send us some money anyway?
Me: Har! No, I wanted to propose to you that you hire me to proofread all of your future mailings. For the low, low price of $100,000, you will get the leading [amateur] linguistic expert in New Castle, Delaware!
Them: Uh…Kerry has horrific hair.
Me: Yes, it’s rather pouffy, isn’t it? But that’s neither here nor there. Can we meet and work out an agreement in which you will give me a lot of money?
Them: Uh…Kerry has prostate cancer!
So you can see we wouldn’t really get anywhere.
So in the end, I simply decided to post the image online and make fun of it, to the entertainment of all. You are entertained, right? Oh. Dammit.
