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euro guys dress up

Someone told me not long ago that many European gentlemen “dress up.” I don’t mean that they put on their mother’s housedress and heels and dance to the Pet Shop Boys in front of a full-length mirror (though many do), but that they, well… You know how men at a tailor’s are asked “Do you dress right or left?” In case you aren’t aware, that’s code for “Do you tuck Junior down the left leg, or the right?” Apparently European dudes often point Mr. Splendiferous towards their navels. A Frenchman might put his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us, but once his pants are on he can get pee in his nombril if he laughs too hard.


I don’t understand this at all. One of the 3 main purposes of The Deliverer is to protect the nards! When I was about ten, I was riding my bike around the neighborhood, looked down to see what gear I was in, and rode directly into the bumper of a car. I hit it so hard that instead of racking the yarbles on the horizontal bar, I actually slammed my package into the handlebar post, hard enough that I saw stars. I actually bruised my wang! That’s right: my dongle was black and blue. My sister can attest, as I later showed it to her, something that I’m sure causes nightmares to this day. I can only assume that, had Dr. Schrempf been pointed upwards, Sam and Dave would have been simply severed from my body.


The idea of habitually leaving Tweedledee and Halliburton unprotected makes my knees hurt. Has anyone else tried it?

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