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Is it just me, or is the presidential campaign, and the coverage thereof, somewhat weakened by the fact that nobody knows how to properly refer to the candidates and affiliated politicians? Every time I read a headline saying “BUSH BLAH BLAH BLAH” or “PALIN BLAH BLAH BLAH,” I think to myself, you know, these […] Here’s the secret to surviving a 45-mile charity bicycle ride: get a flat tire 3 miles from the start. I got one, and was in the process of repairing it myself, when a “SAG” (“Support And Gear” or “Support Aid Group,” depending upon whom you ask) van rolled up with a professional who did it […] Here’s the thing: I’m pretty fat. I mean, if you haven’t seen me lately, and all you know of me is my Brigadoon pictures from a ways back, then you might be surprised at the chub that has made itself welcome on my front. I just don’t do, you know, activities. So you know that, […] The human body sucks. Well, mine does. Yours is awesome. All svelte and muscular, lithe and tanned. I hate you. Get out of my sight. Let me start over: my body is weird. If I’m not dieting, my usual daily caloric intake rivals that of a Kodiak Bear. Seriously, it’s like 4000 calories a […] Like many Americans, I am on a diet. And also like many Americans, I hate it and it’s not working. Well…it sort of is. I can’t tell. The problem is that I weigh exactly the same as when I started, roughly 240 pounds. (What can I say? I got a BIG ASS.) But my […] Here’s a holla at ye. Let’s start off with: new pictures (just the first 5 are technically “new,” as in posted today). Yay! Yay. As you are undoubtedly aware, I am what might be most kindly described as “husky,” or, as one of my childhood teachers actually put it, “sturdy.” I wasn’t always this […] Welcome to Spring! It couldn’t have come soon enough, as far as I’m concerned. You may recall last week we had SNOW, and just 4 days ago the wind and rain and temperatures were that of a normal January day. And it sucked. Like whoa. Now we’re going to get a week of warm […] In which I hate technology, and technology hates me right back.(All up in my grill, yo.) It’s heck of warm out today (low 60s), so, being a forward-thinking individual, I thought to myself yesterday “I should TOTALLY go running at work and try to eliminate the enormous amount of fat located between my crotch […] Okay, so uh, what’s in the news? Apparently that girl Anna Nicole Smith died, but I joked about that yesterday. (Was it too soon? The response I got from the interwebs was cold, to say the least.) There’s some banshee crazy astronaut ho that drove from Texas to Florida in DIAPERS to kidnap and likely […] |