matthearn.com

Good job, Blue Hens! You had 5 yards to go for the touchdown, a full set of towns, over a minute left to play, and one timeout. And you managed to not only fail to score, but prove me right in many ways! And for this, I thank you.

I didn’t actually go to the game because it was raining semi-torrentially, and also we were having people over afterwards to eat and drink and be merry, so we stayed home and cleaned and watched the game on TV. Sarah was semi-dozing on the couch nearby, but the game was making me anxious, which of course woke her up. When the Blue Hens got to the 5 yard-line, I turned to her and said, “Hey, watch this, they’re going to throw four incompletions and lose. It’s gonna be GREAT.” (Sarcasm runs rampant at Hearndom.)

The whole game, however, was a lengthy set of miscues and horrible plays, caused by the fact that Koach K.C. Keeler insists upon running a college-ized version of the West Coast offense, with a lot of short passes. I hate the West Coast offense, not because I think a short passing game with emphasis on timing is bad, but because teams that run the West Coast offense don’t run the ball enough. The Eagles, a pretty damn fine NFL squad, pass on something like 70% of offensive downs. Which drives me slightly batty.

At the college level, where you’re dealing with much weaker talents, relying on a heavy passing offense is like driving to work in a 1978 Corvette. When it’s “firing on all cylinders,” it’s awesome. But when it breaks down, it’s just tragic. (I prefer to rely on the 2001 Camry of offenses, the Option Run.)

In games where the wet weather is a factor, passing the ball is just an invitation for turnovers. RUN THE FREAKING BALL! Go conservative, and let your defense make a few plays, maybe create a few turnovers. Just pound the ball and take as much time off the clock as you can while you have control of it.

Koach Keeler made a few horrific decisions. Down 10-6, with about 7 minutes left and the ball at the 20, he decided to go for the first down on 4th and 7 instead of kicking a field goal. Sure, the figgie would have left them down 10-9, but the odds were good they’d get the ball back (which indeed they did, TWICE more), and then at the end of the game when they found themselves on the 5 with a minute left, they could have leisurely pounded the ball and then spent their last time out with just a few seconds left to get the kicker onto the field.

But just as Keeler clearly doesn’t trust his running game, he doesn’t trust his kicker either. They went for it, and failed, on fourth and 7, turning the ball over on downs for something like the 87th time.

And then, at the end of the game, with a chance for a touchdown from the 5, his play calls went:

Pass: incomplete.

Pass: incomplete.

Pass: incomplete.

Pass: incomplete. Game over. Matt screams.

At least the Eagles can blame their loss on Sunday on injuries and a porous defense that I’m proud to say is the cornerstone of my fantasy team.

I hate football.