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It’s Lil Vickie

There’s been a lot of local talk about Michael Vick, most of it ranging from “meh” to “HOLY CRAP I’M NEVER WATCHING THE EAGLES AGAIN WATCH ME BURN MY SEASON TICKETS AAAAAA”. The sports professionals are focusing on whether or not this makes the Eagles a better team, but results are inconclusive.


My take on him as a person: he spent almost 2 years in jail, he’s undoubtedly going to spend time and money on the Humane Society and other groups, and Lord knows he’s going to hear about this for the rest of his life. (If I were a Cowboys fan, I’d already be dreaming up jokes about how the center should be in a “rape stand” if #7’s gonna touch him there.) I’m willing to give him a second chance, until the first time he screws up, in which case I would imagine he’ll go back to prison and he’s out of chances in the NFL.


On the other hand, it’s hard to picture him strangling a pit bull with piano wire and think that he could have changed into a model citizen.


Still. One shot. That’s all he gets.


As to football, I guess we need to wait and see. It seems stupid to get another quarterback when we have a still-functional Donovan McNabb and the “QB of the Future” Kevin Kolb. Still, depending on what kind of shape he’s in, he could well be the finest physical athlete the Eagles have seen since Cunningham. I’m not going to say I don’t want that on my team. If he gets used as some kind of all-purpose player, returning some kicks, lining up at the slot, seeing plenty of downs, that would be well worth the money, and any PR hit the Eagles take. (Of course, if he’s instrumental in getting the Birds to the Super Bowl, he could rape each of the fans’ mothers in turn and they’d probably tip him.)


I’d really love to see him as a trick back, running crazy sweeps and taking direct snaps for flea-flickers. Or, and this would be so sweet that I may get diabetes if it happens, he runs a few option plays here and there. (I think option football is the most exciting form of the game around.)


So I guess you can put me in the “meh” camp, but with a big “if this works out it’s going to be SO AWESOME” asterisk next to it.

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