In which Comcast finds itself on my s**tlist and redeems itself

Subtitle: Also, Stefan leaves me a rude message on my cell phone.

I’m watching TV th’other day, minding my own business, when suddenly I see it: commercial. For Comcast. Who is offering DVR (Digital Video Recorder, like Tivo) cable boxes. For $10 a month. So I quickly changed my shorts and trotted downstairs to get online and order.

The ordering process was simple; I entered my account name and some other info to verify that I am the actual Matt Hearn of whom the angels frequently extol greatness, clicked a bunch of stuff, and voila, I had printed out receipt saying that a technician would select from the mornings of 9/8, 9/9, or 9/10, I’d start getting charged $10 a month, with no startup fees.

Which is why I was surprised when I received an email from Comcast saying they would be stopping by on Sunday, September 12th, and I was going to be charged a $21.02 service fee.

Long story short, I wrote back, dropped the words “fraud” and “Better Business Bureau,” and they rescheduled me for this morning, plus dropping the set-up charge. Sure enough, just about 11am, a nice fellow stopped by and installed my new DVR, just in time for football season to commence. To say I am stoked by this turn of events would be rather an understatement.

Mmmm…user-controlled instant replay.

In other news, Stefan T. called me today from Korea to alert me that on his birthday last month, I failed to post a lengthy ode on how kickass his home country is. He intimated that I must remedy that situation post haste or risk losing his friendship for all time. I respond well to terroristic threats, so here you are, Rojo, in the style of e.e.cummings:

canada is cool
canada is cool
that big maple leaf reminds me of tepid sugar water
aunt jomama
pouring it over thick waffles with canadian bacon
and scrapple
mustn’t forget the scrapple
or hearnwife will cut me
          cut me deep

i also like rush
they are a hell of good band
          i am changing my name to geddy lee

i have never actually been to canada
so all i know of her people are those i see on tv
and stefan
who is an angry drunk
he drew on my face when i passed out in his bed
so hearnwife cut him
          cut him deep

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