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matthearn.com

It burns when I pee. But that's not really your problem, so nevermind.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Okay, lesson learned: it is far better to have excess candy on November the First, than it is to have too little candy on October the First plus Thirty.

Actually, we started out well; we had 3 big bags of candy, including the unholy trinity of Reese's CupsTM, ButterfingersTM, and Kit KatsTM. We even managed to not eat all of it ourselves in the days leading up to Halloween. And yet we still ran out. Twice.

I blame Sarah, for the following reasons:

  1. At the beginning of the evening, she was deeply into the festivities, and apparently began blacking out and handing out 3 or 4 candies per child. Since we started with 3 bags, and each bag contained roughly 20 pieces of refined sugar products, we were going to run out after approximately 20 children.
  2. At approximately 7pm, we realized we were going to run out, so she ran to the store to pick up more candy. While she was gone, we DID run out, and so I found myself handing out strawberry granola bars to young children. I felt like some kind of hippie dentist. Sarah returned at approximately 7:20 with one bag of ButterfingersTM. We ran out again by 8.
In the end, we were forced to turn off all the lights and huddle under blankets in the back room of the basement, muttering incoherently to the furnace (which replied by periodically warming our home slightly), and hoping the eggs that children were throwing were reasonably fresh.

They weren't. Oh, the horror!

Luckily, we had blown out the candles in our Trogdor and The Cheat pumpkins, so they went unnoticed by the midnight hordes of surly teenagers and are still sitting on the porch, gathering slugs and mold like nobody's business. I've already posted a picture of the Trogdor punkin, but one of The Cheat is forthcoming.

Speaking of The Cheat, she has developed yet another amusing nickname: Don Cheadle. Why? I don't know.

And speaking of pictures, we had a riotous time at Kris Ungkasaahgaslksky's party on Saturday night, and I have many, many disturbing photos. They shall hopefully be posted this evening, although I may decide to spread them out over the week to whet everyone's appetite and add to the terror.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Rumors are that the mighty Hearnass will make an appearance.

11:10 AM  

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