|
Sigh. A man who used a four-letter word to describe to his neighbors how their cat left feces in his yard was acquitted Tuesday of a disorderly conduct citation. “A little piece of America died today when a jury of six says it’s OK to curse in front of a 13-year-old when asked not to,” […] One problem with being a parent is that you occasionally find yourself semi-responsible for the acts of other people’s children. When your kid plays, he tends to play with other kids, whose parents may not be as…attentive as you are. You’re just trying to keep your kid from eating mulch, and suddnely a bunch of […] Great job, “fans.” Here’s the rule I propose: if you’re at a home game, don’t mess with the opposing fans. They’re the insurgents; you’re the US Army. Screwing with them is just like torture. It just pisses them off. Let’s face it: Mets fans aren’t that bright. If they were, they wouldn’t be Mets fans. […] Here is why I don’t normally watch American Idol: because of hacks like Allison Whatsherbutt, who deafened me for a while last night. She sang “Someone To Watch Over Me,” one of the best songs ever put to lined paper, like a pig in an abattoir. Good job, Allison: you can song really frickin’ loud. […] In Lancaster, California, Honda decided it would be fun to carve grooves in a road such that when you drive over them, the vibration of your suspension plays a song. They decided, for unknown reasons, to use the William Tell Overture, by Giaochino “Joey Chinos” Rossini. In case you haven’t watched the Lone Ranger recently, […] Andrew Sullivan, Keith Olbermann, and Rachel Maddow all took Karl Rove to task for this stupidity. I might as well join in! Let’s break it down like En Vogue: What the Obama administration’s done in the last several days is very dangerous. What they’ve essentially said is, if we have policy disagreements with our predecessors, […] I spent most of last week driving to and from King of Prussia, PA (hence the lack of posts), and here is what I can report to you: I-476 and I-76 are the worst system of roads of any place I’ve been to, and include both Staten Island and Boston in that statement. Pretty much […] This is the worst short story ever. By me. Based on true events from Monday. Robert didn’t think of himself as high-strung. He was a pretty relaxed individual. Which is why it was such a surprise when he killed that guy. All he’d wanted to do was go for a bike ride. So […] Update: I did not get to kiss John Mayer on the mouth. All is sadness. Doubly frustrating, is that because the Tweeter Center sucks, I couldn’t get any pictures. Argh. Our tickets said something about “NO PROFESSIONAL CAMERAS,” which kinda concerned me, but I thought, well, Canon’s own website describes the Rebel XTi as […] Listen, we need to talk about the state of rock and roll lyrics. ‘Cause it’s not good. And I’m talking specifically rock and roll, not pop, so for the time being we can ignore things like “The Glamorous…the Glamorous Glamorous The Glamorous…the Flossy Flossy” and “Once you pop lock drop it for me maybe we […] |