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Can somebody explain to me this new thing where all the ladies are getting their noses pierced? It started at as something you’d see amongst the hard core body decorators, or among certain ethnic groups as a cultural or religious thing, but now I’m seeing just every day skanks showing up with rhinestones jabbed into […] Hi! I’m Matt Hearn, and I’m here to tell you that you, too, can learn the secrets of gaining weight. Just listen to these testimonials! “Using Matt Hearn’s plan, I gained 8 pounds in just under a month! Then I met a dude that digs fat chicks! ALL RIGHT!” – Tara Lipzinsky “I had always […] This is something that had to be shared with everyone on the internet, as fast as humanly possible, with no time for proper scanning and editing, because it is brilliant to the point of personal pain. I give you the new webcomic, written by me and ingeniously illustrated by my sister Liz: Bach v. Handel. […] There’s a thing that’s been floating around Facebook like some kind of social disease wherein everyone goes down a list of movies and checks off the ones they’ve seen. I tend to ignore most Facebook crap (I’m currently 0 for 4,374 on “signing up for stupid applications that people have invited me to”), but this […] A few tidbits: I wish I hadn’t spent $200+ dollars on “Party Pigs” for my beer because, frankly, they suck. They’re a nice a idea, because bottling beer is a huge hassle and I have a life to live, people, but unfortunately they don’t live up to the hype. They just don’t dispense beer very […] This morning, Charles requested eggs and bacon for breakfast. I said sure, why not! and started frying up some bacon which turned out to possibly be a bit old. Charles, being Charles, insisted upon “helping” which meant I was turning bacon with one hand and using the other to try and keep him from sticking […] I didn’t notice at the time, but that last post was my 600th entry on this so-called “web site.” I’m not sure what to make of this information, really; this has never been a “blog” in the purest sense, since any decent blog puts up multiple posts a day, or at least a week. Aside […] Over Thanksgiving, we watched “A Christmas Story,” featuring Peter Billingsley, Scott Farkus, and Bumpus’s Dogs. Great film, which even after watching it all the way through, my wife insists she’s never seen the entirety of. I noted a few strange things (warning: lists within lists a-comin’): Miss Shields, Ralphie’s schoolteacher, is kinda sneaky hot. Sure, […] When did I get so old? I mean, I’ve completed 3 decades and embarked on my fourth this year, and as a result my body is splitting apart at the seams. I remain surprised, on a daily basis, to wake up and discover that I still have most of my limbs. Charles has a […] You! In the hat! Did you go vote? No? Why not? Go vote! What do you mean, you don’t like either candidate? How can that be possible? There are something like 15 possible candidates for US President, along with running mates! If you don’t like one of the top 2, pick from the rest […] |