For those of us who are tired of hearing about Swine Flu and how it’s a global frickin’ pandemic (thanks, cable news!), GraphJam comes to the rescue:
Go to Dinoremix, and make your own remixes of, you guessed it, Dinosaur Comics! I did not make this one, but it is my favorite. I did, however, make the one below, but it’s not as good. Make your own goodies and post the results in comments! Both of you! Do it!
This, this right here, is why the Onion is the best news source available for any topic, from politics to sports to sex (AKA “nooky”).
Oh heck yes:
The Bacone
A bacon cone filled with scrambled eggs and country gravy topped with a biscuit.
I’m in love.
A conservative blogger shows the usual right-wing class. (Warning: very naughty words.)
Since we’re having a baby, HW and I get a lot of people asking us “Hey, have you picked a name? What is it?” To which we have to reply, “Yes, we’ve picked a name, and no, we’re not sharing it.”
(Sarah is getting extra saucy about it; someone apparently asked her, “Have you picked any names for the baby?” and she replied “Yes, the last one.”)
In the spirit of sharing, here is a list of names for our daughter that we will not be using:
In the interest of full disclosure: the above may or may not be true.
The internet being what it is, my recent website alterations have led to a lot of spam comments. Even more than regular comments! This shouldn’t be surprising, since I have two readers.
So, I’ve added a plug-in that does some kind of magic involving hash strings and other crap I don’t understand, the end result being that humans should be able to leave comments, and spambots should not.
Here’s where I need you, my two readers, to help out: leave a comment on this post, if you would be so kind, so that I know that humans can still, you know, do so. Leave anything you want. “Hi, I’m a comment!” would be a good one, or “Ew, I found a pube in my taco.”
Your assistance is greatly appreciated. I will start the testing myself with an amusing comment.
You know what I need? Better hair products. I have acres, nay, bushels of various mousses, pastes, gels, and sprays, and not one of them really makes my hair do what I want it to do consistently. I’m sure many of you feel the same way, right? Right?
Rudolph Valentino's Greasy Coif
That’s Rudolph Valentino, heartthrob, actor, peritonitis victim, and all-around man-about-town. I’m not sure when that picture was taken, but it probably was in the early 20s (since he died in 1926). I guarantee he hadn’t had to comb his hair since he put in a fistful of Murray’s in it in 1914.
Why can’t I get that stuff? I want that slick, sleek look.
On second thought, Valentino was able pull of the sleek look because he was handsome; it’s in everyone’s best interests that as much of my hair be in front of my face as possible. So, uh, nevermind.
I’ve decided that my name should be a pejorative adjective. For example: Man, how clumsy do you have to be to cut your finger on a piece of fashion jewelry? You’d have to be Matt Hearn clumsy to do that.
(Indeed, I managed to cut my thumb on silver ring my wife bought me for our anniversary last year. You may be interested to know that the ring in question is not worn on my thumb. Nor is worn on the hand belonging to the thumb that was cut. Why yes, I do often have bruises and small cuts all over my body from walking into [walls|trees|fences|interior linebackers].)
Another good one: how dumb do you have to be to mow the lawn on a 90-degree afternoon? Man, you’d have to be Matt Hearn dumb. (Or perhaps Matt Hearn busy.)
It totally works.
