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Sorry for no update yesterday, but I had a horrific herpes breakout, and spent all day in my doctor’s waiting room with a bowl of disinfectant (you know, for dipping) and some steel wool. I mean, uh, I was, um, tired. That’s it. That other stuff was, um, a typo. Yeah, that’s the ticket, […] Let’s talk about urinals. (Great lede, huh?) The men’s bathroom on my floor of our office building has two urinals. A short one, and a tall one. This produces many a mental quandary when using the facilities, as when one enters, you have to weigh the various options and make a decision based on […] This edition of Fantasy Sports Expertise is brought to you by Scratcho-brand Anti-Itch medication! Just rub it anywhere, and ignore the permanent scarring! It’s time for me to share with all of you why I am the fantasy football king. Okay, I haven’t won a championship since 2001. Okay, I’ve been steadily getting worse […] What the hell is up with USA basketball? I watched most of the game yesterday against Puerto Rico and it was like Carlos Arroyo just squatted down in the middle of the floor and made the American squad roll around in his eliminations. Truly horrific. From what I remember, our heroes were something like 3/26 […] Those of you who don’t see me very often probably haven’t been aware that I’ve lost a rather significant amount of weight; I’m down to about 220 lbs, from nearly 260 at the beginning of the year. I was a big mammajamma. (For those who are curious how I did it, I attribute the […] Was anyone else aware that Bondo, when mixed, turns bright pink? I opened up the tub of filler, noted the expected grey color of the material inside, and then wondered what the other tube of stuff was for. Well, it’s the “hardener,” since apparently Bondo doesn’t just harden on its own. The hardener itself is […] Okay, sorry, I have to thank a few folks. It’s like I won an Oscar! Well, maybe not. More like a Daytime Emmy. Also, since I own the website, there’s no way the orchestra is going to play me off! I’ll try to actually make it a worthwhile read for those of you who aren’t […] I’ve finally updated the Favorite Searches page, with some stuff from July, including comments. Sorry I haven’t had an actual column in like 5 days. I promise to have SOMETHING tomorrow, even if it might kinda suck. Okay, it’s been a few days, my bad. I think you can understand I’ve been a TAAAAD busy. Meanwhile, here’s something high-larious to see, courtesy of my kickin’ new computer (I installed a TV tuner and can record things straight from cable, or, in this case, straight from the VHS tape I made last week): […] |