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matthearn.com

It burns when I pee. But that's not really your problem, so nevermind.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

I am a coiner of words. Nothing major, mind you, but I've added a few idioms to the local vocabulary in my time, most notably the alternate meaning of "jaunt," which would basically mean "stuff." As in, "Stop touching my jaunt or I will pummel you without mercy."

I am also very interested in reviving slang from years past; you've probably heard me mention that I feel personally responsible (and I feel no guilt over this fact) for the reinsertion of "Word!" as an all-purpose exclamation to American English. This was a process begun in approximately 1998, when I began to revive this use of the word, it having died out at approximately the same time the New Kids on the Block broke up. (There may have been others who decided to bring it back at the same time, which would help explain the current widespread use of the phrase, but I can say with 99% certainty that I am the first, and so far one of only a handful of people, to use "Word" as an adjective: "That cheese-steak was totally word.")

My current personal projects involve the revivals of "def" and "ill," and I'm also assisting Chris Onstad (creator of Achewood) with the reintroduction of "rad," and even a totally new form of slang adverb: "hell of." (Not that Onstad actually knows about my assistance, or my name, or even that I exist as anything but a guy that periodically writes him sweet-smelling anonymous letters that I laboriously bang out on an old Hermes typewriter and leave lipstick kisses on the bottoms by way of signature.)

I am, of course, a leech of OTHER people's pet slang, which is really the reason I bring all this up. Paul Stamegna, a young friend of mine that I know from working with Brandywine High School, invented a word in 2003 that is a modification of "jaunt:" "jaunpiece." I thought the construction to be brilliant (it particularly works well in a form that Paul also developed: "Ease up off my jaunpiece," which I've slightly modified a la Strong Bad, "Ease up offs my jaunpiece"), and immediately stole it and began using it everywhere.

A few friends have picked it up, including my wife, my father, and good buddy Colin Pryor. In fact, if you go to Google and search for "jaunpiece," you get three sites (and a lot of duplicate links that were removed automagically by Google): this one, the Free Range Human (which often has many dirty words on it, so I admit of no affiliation thereto), and Colin's site.

Which is why I was absotively floored when Jared IM'd me yesterday and told me that the director on his movie, "No Retreat From Destiny" (which will undoubtedly win some award for having the cheesiest name of all time), said "jaunpiece" the other day:

SmithJub (1:00:53 PM): Dude, the director used the term jaunpiece the other day.
matthearndotcom (1:01:06 PM): He what?
matthearndotcom (1:01:14 PM): Holy [rather bad word].
matthearndotcom (1:01:18 PM): I assume he heard it from you?
SmithJub (1:01:22 PM): No.
SmithJub (1:01:27 PM): I never use it.
matthearndotcom (1:01:42 PM): I know the kid that [extremely bad word that I never use unless I'm jaw-droppingly surprised by something or have been stabbed] invented it. How the [yet another dirty word] did it get to some director of whom I've never heard?
SmithJub (1:01:54 PM): No idea.
SmithJub (1:02:12 PM): He was in a conversation about something and it just slipped out.

I can't begin to express my joy at hearing this news. I daresay, I nearly wept. It was so def.

Anyway, last night's Brigadoon preview went extremely well. Jennifer was still sick, but had visited the doctor and was duly doped up on all kinds of stuff, including a good dose of heroin, from what I understand. She refused to believe this no matter who told her, but she sounded great. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if she actually stops being sick and starts sounding even better.

The rain even held off! We didn't get a drop, although it was EXTREMELY humid. Tonight's forecast looks even better, although they're calling for intermittent thunderstorms from Friday well into the foreseeable future. Hopefully that stuff will break up and not be a factor for the weekend shows, since I have a lot of friends coming in from out of town who can't do anything but the Saturday show.

So, thanks for those of you that shot us a thought or three yesterday, although whichever one of you it was that managed to enter my brain and replace "I don't understand it! I'm beginning to feel a little like a damn fool!" with "I don't understand it! I'm, uh, feel, going insane:" I am going to pummel you without mercy.

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