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matthearn.com

It burns when I pee. But that's not really your problem, so nevermind.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Random thoughts while working an all-night change outage:
  • 0032 - I am the man who will fight for your honor. I am the hero you've been dreaming of. We'll live together, knowing [something something] that we did it all for the glory of love.
  • 0217 - While I'm on the lyrics tip, I have written a poem:

    'Twas the feast of St. Valentine
    And all through the world
    Many folks were getting nooky
    Every boy, every girl

    But Hearn is at work
    He's typing and tapping
    He drinks too much caffeine
    And spends an hour crapping

    He's moving some fibre,
    He's drinking some Coke
    He's catching some hell
    For the servers he broke

    He wants to be home
    In bed with his wife
    But that's not the way
    Of an IT geek's life

    But let us not weep,
    And whine, cry, or sob.
    I just mutter sometimes,
    "God, I hate this #&*$ing job."

  • 0227 - I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
  • 0335 - At 3:30 in the morning, I expect a little understanding if I get a little loopy. Ya know? I mean, if I spontaneously start singing, to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas," "woot woot woot woot woot woot woot, woot woot woot woot woot woot!" I don't think it's too much to ask for my employees to just nod and smile. Is it really necessary to inject powerful anti-psychotic drugs into my stomach lining? What the hell, man?
  • 0342 - The "Good King Wenceslas" song also works well when sung as "Badger badger badger badge, badger badger mushroom!"
  • 0348 - Intake so far:
    • 4 units Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers
    • 2 units Biggie Fries
    • 1 unit Biggie Diet Coke
    • 1 unit 20z Diet Pepsi
    • 1 unit Twix
    Remaining food:
    • 3 units Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers
    • 1 box Girls Scouts Thin Mints
    • Anything I choose to buy from the snack machines, particularly the Honey Bun upon which I have my eye
  • 0411 - Milo's online! He's had as little sleep as I! And has just driven 2 hours to DC and will be working until noon! This is the only explanation for our conversation so far:
    MiloBloom34 signed on at 4:11:05 AM.
    MattHearnCSC: The butt!
    MiloBloom34: Jewbie.
    MattHearnCSC: badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger
    MattHearnCSC: I bought a lawnmower today.
    MiloBloom34: mushroom mushroom
  • 0508 - Conversation between me and coworker Mikey:
    Mike: [coughs]
    Me: [Pats Mike on back]
    Mike: Thanks.
    Me: Don't croak.
    Mike: [short pause] Ribbit.
    [crickets chirping]
    Mike: Get it? Ribbit? You said "Don't Croak." Haha!
    Me: Got it. Not funny.
    Mike: Hey, whaddaya want at 5am? F#*$ you.
  • 0615 - I can't believe I'm still going. At this point I've been up for almost 22 hours, which is nowhere near Jared's record of roughly 8 straight days, but pretty damn good for me. I'm frickin' tired, Mr. Bigglesworth. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets tired, people die! Okay, that's not true, he just lays down next to the air-conditioning vent with his belly in the air so he can cool his Schweddy Balls. Switcheroo, for 2! [Hearn does happy mambo dance around the conference room]
  • 0621 - I think they're releasing us. I'm not entirely sure because I've been hallucinating vividly for the last 30-40 minutes. Oh well. This shall be the last update to the diary! Time to sleep! Yay! Yay! Talk to you later....

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