I think Chris is a great ESPN anchor. And I won't argue that she knows a lot about sports, undoubtedly more than I do, and more than most folks I know do. But it's unfortunate that she feels her personal politics are of any interest to visitors at the ESPN.com website. No doubt, she's just tired of being lumped into the same female generalizations: "Women don't know anything about sports," "Women belong at home with the kids," "Get your ass back in the kitchen and make me some bacon," etc. That's understandable, but not much of an excuse for her latest column.
Let me provide some background here. A week or two ago, my favorite ESPN columnist Bill Simmons wrote an amusing article about watching sports with women. It's not particularly "politically correct;" in fact, it was clearly designed to be unPC, because his job is provide a humorous angle to sports, and because most people find unPC remarks funny. That is, unless they feel the generalizations are directed at them.
This makes reasonable sense. I mean, if I say "Asian people drive slow" or "all women hate sports," that's not particularly fair to the old and female demographics. But here's the thing: generalizations are merely the manifestation of people playing the odds.
If you want to hear an opinion on whether or not the Rams can recover from a 5-0 start to make the playoffs, and Chris McKendry doesn't happen to be around, who would you ask? Who is more likely to actually have formed an opinion on such a thing, a woman or a man? Who is more likely to be driving 50 mph in the left lane of the Washington Beltway, a white guy, or a Korean guy? (Well, maybe you haven't noticed that last one. But keep an eye peeled for the phenomenon. It's funny. Wait, did I say "funny"? I meant "FRIGGING INFURATING.")
If you're playing blackjack and are dealt 17, do you hit or stay? The odds of winning if you stand pat on that hand are higher than if you decide to hit (unless you count cards, but there's always an "unless," that's what makes life so damn amusing). It's no different than saying, "Am I more likely to get shot at the gas station in the projects, or should I drive to the one in the suburbs?" Even WITH a psychotic sniper in the 'burbs around DC, you're more likely to be a crime victim hanging around in the ghetto than you are in Alexandria (but that's another angry column for another time). Even with Chris McKendry wandering somewhere on earth, you're more likely to find a guy that knows the line on the 49ers game than you are a gal.
(This sounds like I'm rambling and meandering all over the place. Well, I am. Tough noogis. Eventually I'll get to a point, I hope.)
"Somewhere from the depths of the '50s, Bill came up with 10 ground rules for watching sports with him and the other guys. After reading them, I found myself wondering if this was The Sports Guy ... or The Chauvinist Guy." McKendry is irritated because Simmons took the experiences of many men when watching football with women and applied it to the entire female demographic. Pretty unfair, if you ask her. Pretty funny, if you ask most people.
Also pretty accurate. I watch a lot of sports. Honestly, I don't watch much else. My wife Sarah doesn't much care for sports. She fits into the standard generalization of women on that point. That's fine with me. I don't much care for the Lifetime movies she enjoys. That's fine with her. I fit into her standard generalization of guys. To most people, this is acceptable, but apparently not to Chris. In order to do the right thing, apparently I must ask Sarah if she'd like to watch Monday Night Football with me 17 straight weeks, despite the fact that for the last 6 weeks she's scuttled off to the bedroom to turn on "Everybody Loves Raymond." Sure, past performance is not a guarantee of future results, but experience does count for SOMETHING.
For the last few days I've been listening to a recording of comedian Dave Chappelle doing a stand-up routine in DC. Dave is a black guy, and he made a bunch of jokes about white people, particularly making fun of what many black people see as preferential treatment from the police. What? Someone making jokes about race? That's horribly taboo! Or is it? I've listened to many black comedians make fun of white people. Are the jokes accurate? Most of the time, no. Are they still funny as shit? HELL YES. Am I offended by being lumped into a generalization because I'm white? Not particularly.
I'm not irritated by that kind of thing. What irritates me more is when people like Chris McKendry are offended and feel the need to vent on the subject. First of all because I get the feeling that if a woman made jokes about how men spend too much time watching football, Chris would be able to hold her tongue and not waste column space on it. Secondly because, if you hadn't realized it, light-heartedly making fun of other people is the very basis of humor; if you are offended by it (particularly if the joke doesn't even mention you specifically, but just makes fun of a group of people with whom you share traits) you don't have any right to make jokes yourself. Particularly an entire column that makes its own generalizations about sports-watching guys.
Particularly since her generalizations are, well, retarded. "WE won. ... WE stink. ... WE wuz robbed. You are not on the team. It likely has been at least a decade since you ran your last windsprint. As I've asked many times to my husband when he says, 'we,' 'Is Joe Torre calling your number next?' " I think most sports professionals (writers, athletes, coaches) can agree, sports don't exist without fans. Fans of sports are the people that pay your salary, Chris. Perhaps you like to remain distant from individual teams because it would compromise your impartiality, but fans want to be a part of the team, and their support makes them that sixth or twelfth man. I mean, most generalizations are built on some shaky evidence, but here Chris is just making things up!
It's pretty apparent that what she intended with her column was just to bring to light that the Simmons' brand of humor isn't funny; unfortunately, it is funny, and all she ended up doing was sounding like a hypocrite, and a muckraker. And that isn't particularly funny.