The Daily Nuisance

Now, about my genitals. (Har! I so funny! You laugh long time!) On to the random thoughts:

• If you're in a team meeting at work, and it's your turn to tell the group about what projects you've been working on (Footnote 1), don't make a funny joke like "Well, I've been taking a lot of naps." No one will laugh, and you'll get assigned 5 new projects inside of 3 hours.
• The day that you realize that the only way you're going to get rich (and make a real difference in the world with your money) is by winning the Powerball Lottery is a bad, bad day. (Those of you who are out of college and have been working full time for a year or two are all nodding your heads.)
• The day that you realize that the many hours you've dedicated to educating the public about the proper operation of automobiles hasn't changed a damn thing, that 95% of the people on the road shouldn't be trusted at the wheel of a Sit-n-Spin, is also a very bad, bad day.
• The day that you notice that most of the online conversations you have with 18 year old girls end immediately after informing them of your age is . . . well, you get the picture.
• John Mayer is THE MAN. I bought "Room For Squares" 2, 3 days ago and I've listened to it roughly 14 times. I've brought an entire case of CDs into work with me and all I do is listen to this one friggin' CD. The CD has the periodic table on it. Can't ask for more than that.
• I've been trying to cut down on my drinking. It's very annoying having liquor in the house and making a conscious effort not to use it to make myself feel good. I give myself about 15 years before I'll be a fixture at AA meetings.
• Has anybody seen that commercial for Enzyte (the reliable, non-prescription supplement for natural male enhancement) with that guy Bob who's always smiling? HILARIOUS. If you watch a lot of sports, you'll probably see it. At the end, the guy comes home and his wife is standing there with a big fucking grin? Never fails to floor me. I like to believe they close the door and fuck like bunnies there in the foyer every day as soon as Bob gets home.
• I did a search on Google for "Enzyte" to make sure I was spelling it right. Also quite funny. Under Google's sponsored links you can see "Get a Bigger Penis NOW." Totally tasteful. Google (from what I've heard) refuses to put any gunmakers or dealers under their "Sponsored Links," but if a curious 12 year old boy wonders what those pills were in Daddy's medicine cabinet, he can read all about how to pleasure his woman through Google.com!
• Anybody that hasn't managed to catch Greg the Bunny on Fox, you have to catch that shit, dude. Count Blah is by far the most hilarious sitcom character since Mr. Roper.
• For those of you that haven't noticed, my web site is no longer located on the skeevy Linux server at my house. I have actual web hosting! Totally sweet, and fairly cheap, about $100 for the year (unless my web presence suddenly takes off, which means I'll have to upgrade my service like a mother; I only get 5 gig of transfer bandwidth per month).