Ah, college basketball. One of my favorite sports . . . once March rolls around. The rest of the year, I don't much give a damn. And it's amazing how many sports are like that for me, which is odd because I enjoy sports. Basketball? I watch 6ers games periodically, but usually I jump in with about 4 minutes to go in the 4th quarter. If it's a close game, I watch. If not, it's back to watching scrambled Cinemax and trying to see if I catch a glimpse of hooter. Baseball? I catch a few games on TV a week, but with each team playing 2198 games a year, it's hard to attach any real significance to any single game until late August. Hockey? With apologies to my boy Milo, I can't sit through any single hockey game until at least the quarterfinals of the playoffs. Part of this is that I'm aware that for some reason I'm a walking Flyers jynx. I think I've watched the 3rd period of 7 Flyers games all year, and in those games they're 1-5-1. I assumed they just sucked all year, having not really checked the standings. Then my Dad said "How 'bout those Flyers, huh? Really kicking ass!" and I got very confused, checked the standings and discovered the Flyboys are about 35-20. Obviously they only lose when I'm watching, so I don't watch.
Of the 4 major sports, the only one I can watch week-in, week-out is football, which I watch religiously for about 20 weeks. College or pro, don't make much difference to me. I don't watch Arena football, though, because it's fucking retarded. Playing arena ball is like screwing in a phone booth. I think I like football so much because I understand it far more, and it's less embarrassing to play. I'm too fat and slow to play basketball; I don't have the reaction time to play baseball; and hockey is basically inaccessible in Delaware (hardly a public school sport); but football I can play.
On defense, if you get by me, you're going to score. I can't possibly change direction and run fast enough to catch you. But if I get a finger on you as you go by, you're going to go down. And you might just go down really hard. Deepak Pradhan knows this from experience. He and I and some other folks were playing a pickup game back in high school, and he got the ball and was going by me. I got a hold on him, and he kept wriggling, so I ended up having to pick him up and slam him to the ground. On offense, if we're playing flag football I'm largely useless. I can't throw very accurately (although I can throw really really hard), and while I can catch pretty much anything thrown to me, I can't duke and jeke or just haul ass to get away from defenders. In tackle, though, I just collect little behind the line passes and start chugging, letting tacklers bounce off me like a possum off the grill of a Peterbilt.
Then, of course, there's auto racing, particularly stock cars, even more specifically short tracks. I love cars. I love racing cars. I particularly love racing cars that can bump into each other a good bit and not tear apart like so much cardboard. Hence, Indy Cars don't interest me. NASCAR interests me, although for the most part I'm growing weary of the basically wussy atmosphere that's taken over since the mid 80s.
I want to go see some races at a Saturday night short track. All through the south and midwest part of the country there are little tracks, some dirt, some asphalt, where several classes of cars race. And they don't race like pussies. Nothing like seeing an 83 Monte Carlo banging the shit out of a 87 Buick. I'd LOVE to race in something like that. Gotta move down south . . .
But back to college basketball. I'm more interested this year than in year's past because I'm involved in a bracket pool. Most people know what this is, but for those that don't, a bracket pool is a gambling doodad where folks toss in $10 or so apiece and then make guesses as to who's going to win each game in the NCAA tournament. It's very interesting. Turns out I really suck at it. My boy Milo is whooping ass so far, and my dilly ass is stuck with only 9 remaining teams in the sweet 16. Luckily, nobody I had picked is eliminated from the Elite Eight, so at least I'm not TOTALLY screwed, particularly since the games from here on in are worth more than the first two rounds. Here's hoping I whoop a bit more ass.
Shit. I just looked at my bracket again and realized that Alabama's NOT going to be in the Elite 8 'cause they got knocked out by FUCKING KENT STATE. Did I mention I suck at this stuff?