Why did I decide to post today, you might ask? If you'll indulge me another humorous list:
At the moment, the Eagles are favored by 4. Oughta be a hell of a game. With any luck, they'll do the same thing to Brad Johnson that they did to Michael Vick. That is, beat him like a foster child.
In honor of the occasion, I have writ a poem:
The Eagles and Falcons last week met
On the turf so nasty at the Vet
They pounded Mike Vick into it
Warren Sapp is a piece of . . . pie
Which reminds me . . . first, y'all need to check out http://www.qbkilla.com/, Warren Sapp's official website. Then check out http://www.twinkiekilla.com/, a humorous parody thereof.
Anyway, I'm probably not going to get this posted in time for the teeming opium-smoking masses to read it before the game on Sunday, so most of y'all are probably reading this Monday morning either going "YEAH #*$& EAGLES!" or "Goddamn Andy Reid piece of crap grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr." Nevertheless, I'm too lazy to rewrite anything, so when y'all read this next week, realize that 1) I was, uh, busy 2) Tough noogies and 3) Pretend I'm funny.
| Did Molly Shannon eat an entire capybara? I'm currently watching the "Top 100 Badassinest Coolest Musical Crap Ever to Happen EVER" or something like that on VH1, and she's hosting, dolled up in a festive red number that makes her look like a velvet-wrapped cigar box with piano legs and chiffon. What idiot told her she looked good in that? Also, she's clearly stoned. Also, I'm clearly just trying to fill up the space in the table I'm using to put that nifty capybara picture over on the side, and it's probably going to look retarded on 95% of monitors. Still need some padding. Still not looking right. HOLY CRAP, J. Lo's hooters! | Capybara eaten by Molly Shannon |