Okay, I’ve had just about enough of Timothy’s. I’m organizing a boycott. Who’s with me? WHO’S WITH ME? Let’s do a rundown of my issues with the bar:

  1. Everything is ridiculously overpriced. $9 for a burger? $5 for a cup of friggin’ soup? Friday’s doesn’t charge that much, and Friday’s (Friday’s’s?) food is decent; we’ll get to that next.
  2. The food is not good. Everything’s either over- or under-cooked, and just tastes bad. I’ll give them a point here for their crab soup, which is pretty good, but nothing else is really worth ordering, particularly since you know you’re probably gonna play $17 for an entree.
  3. The service is mediocre; your drink will spend most of its time empty, the food will probably arrive cold, and you just won’t get any attention, except for Jen behind the bar, who knows how to keep a beer topped off.
  4. My office is approximately 150 yards from Timothy’s, and there’s a parking lot between us. It just so happens that my office is close to that parking lot. However, I’m not allowed to park there. I’m only allowed to park on the OTHER side of the building, or up the 50 foot hill. Apparently Timothy’s needs this space, despite the fact that the only time that Timothy’s manages to fill their parking lot is on Friday, at Happy Hour, when 50% of my building goes over there for drinks anyway! I’m not fat and bitter or anything.

So anyway, I see no reason to ever go to Timothy’s again. It’s not like getting to the Deer Park is a challenge, and if you’ll permit me an SAT-style analogy: Deer Park:Timothy’s::Helen Hunt:Joseph Merrick. Shellhammer’s (in University Plaza), of course, is Jessica Alba. <COMIC BOOK GUY>BEST – BAR – EVER.</COMIC BOOK GUY>

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