Oh snap son it is TOTALLY 3:21am and I am working, doing work things at a work place. Technically my work is pretty much done, we’re just waiting for word that everything worked. Meanwhile, I’m putting up with my laptop keyboard, which is not so grood. The control key is not great, and also the O, U, and L keys have an annoying tendency to to type extra letters in strange ways, such that sentences often look like this:
I’m goiong to opoen the lletter, sir, lelt’s make sure to hide the childrens.
The backspace key is getting a heck of workout.
Anyway, I wanted to report two important things:
- My friend Rachel now has a blog, although she feels remorse and guilt about the whole thing. Nevertheless, you should read it, as it’s far more entertaining than anything you might read here. I post horrific camera-phone pictures of my hair, for Jebus’s Own Sake. What the hell is wrong with me.
- I have decided to start a new internet meme. It is entitled:
My Favorite Canadian
My favorite Canadian is Alex Trebek. Born to gay furtrappers in Jonquiere in 1765, he grew up learning the art of Indian negotiations. When one of his fathers was captured by the Algonquin tribe, he travelled by himself over the Mighty Mississipp’ to retrieve him, but found only the sweet ethnic love of a Cherokee medicine woman. She bore him 17 children before dying in a tragic balloon animal accident.
Alex found his true calling 180 years later on a Dutch variety show, hosting a segment entitled “Het Gevaar,” and occasionally smoking vast amounts of herbal seaweed and performing free appendectomies for Amsterdam’s large prostitute population. Eventually, he was invited to perform for the czarina in Prague during her tour of the Western Continent, and she saw fit to have him sentenced to death for referring to her as “That Wild Moscovite Skank.”
After the czarina was revealed to, indeed, be a pretty skanky ho, Alex’s sentence was commuted to 6 days cleaning the royal garderobe and occasionally shaving Royal Auntie Esmerelda’s neck.
By 1976, Alex Trebek was the most famous game-show host in the galaxy, and spent his evenings being serenaded by Pavarotti and fellated by Maria Callas. It was all downhill from there.
Who is YOUR Favorite Canadian?
I suppose that all explains why Mr. Trebek is a rather nasty person… I’m not sure who my favorite Canadian is, but my least favorite is definitely Alanis Morissette. I dislike her goat-singing.
my favorite Canadian is me.
sandra oh! she rocks.
rach
mat mat mat mat mat mat mat mat mat amt matmatmatmatmamttmtmatmtmatmamtamtatmat
hope you are doing well sir.
rach is hot. i’m going to get my blog-read on.
<3 matthew!
Being from Texas and required by the unwritten code of Texas hard-assedness and a few dozen redundant laws to be non-PC (no matter what Ann Richards tried to do, oh so many years ago)…
…my answer is “a dead one.”