matthearn.com

You know I can’t resist an idiotic meme of any kind. This one is entitled:

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 10 YEARS

TEN YEARS AGO………………………………………………………

How old were you?
18, and ignoring my responsibility to vote.

Where did you go to school?
Peabody Conservatory, where I learned to hate musicians with a fire equalled only by my hatred for people who sit in the left lane without passing. (The hatred of musicians has abated, mostly.)

Where did you work?
I manned the soundboard for the recording department at Peabody, taping people’s recitals and The Like, until I got fired for incompetence.

Where did you live?
Baltimore, although I still maintained offices in Wilmington, DE. (My parents’ house.)

Where did you hang out?
Mostly on campus, smoking heavily and ignoring my studies. I was a real winner!

What was your hairstyle?
Unkempt.

Did you wear glasses?
Nay nay. Still don’t. Shoot, did I give something away? Forget I said anything.

Who was your best friend?
Hmmmmmmm. That’s a toughie. I had sort of a crew of pepys from back home that included Sarah (my future wife), Josh, Milo, Stefan, some others.

Who was your regular-person crush?
I think at the time I was still all up onz my wife.

How many tattoos did you have?
None.

How many piercings did you have?
None.

What car did you drive?
I was living in the city, so I didn’t drive much. I borrowed my parents’/sister’s Saturn occasionally if I was home.

What was your favorite band/group?
Criminey, who knows. Jackson Browne, maybe? My tastes change daily.

What was your worst fear?
I’m more afraid of bein’ nothin’ than I am of bein’ hurt.

Had you driven yet?
Heck yes, hoss. I’d been driving for two years, and had multiple citations for speeding.

Had you been to a real party yet?
The first party I went to in college was at some guitarist’s house, and I drank vodka punch until I threw up all over his kitchen and someone rolled me up in a blanket and left me there for the rest of the night. Classy evening.

Had your heart broken?
Yeah, sure. Happened all the time, because I was basically retarded. Still am.

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Taken.

FIVE YEARS AGO……………………………………………….

How old were you?
23.

Where did you go to school?
I had just graduated from U of Del.

Where did you work?
Computer company in Newark. Same place I work now, in fact.

Where did you live?
We had just moved into a righteous rental house near Price’s Corner. It was out-damn-standing. I miss that house, occasionally, even though the location was for crap and it only had one bathroom and the basement occasionally flooded (the first time, approximately 12 hours before my parents 30th anniversary party).

Where did you hang out?
Mostly at the Charcoal Pit that was roughly 50 yards from our house. No kids at the time, so HW and I would get home, walk down, eat burgers, drink too much, and then stumble home. It was the bomb.

How was your hair style?
Varied. Usually fairly short.

Did you wear glasses?
Hecks no.

Who was your best friend?
In the interest of marital bliss, let’s say my wife.

Who was your regular-person crush?
(As opposed to my irregular-person crush?) In the interest of marital bliss, let’s say my wife.

How many tattoos did you have?
Just the one, I think, I got it that summer.

How many piercings did you have?
Zero, junior.

What car did you drive?
Ah, my pickup. 2002 Ford F150. Black. Stick shift. I miss that truck immensely.

What was your favorite band/group?
I have no earthly clue. It’s all I can do to remember my name, most days.

What was your worst fear?
Never paying off my credit cards.

Had you been to a real party yet?
I’d thrown a few of my own, at which I frequently removed my pants. For charity.

Had your heart broken?
Hey, sure. Why not.

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Married.

**OCTOBER 2006**

How old are you?
28

Where do you work?
Crappy computer company. Same one, in fact.

Where do you live?
It’s locked down in New Castle, beotch!

Where do you hang out?
At my house with my little boy, mostly.

How is your hair style?
Long and ridiculous.

Do you wear glasses?
No sir. 40/20 vision. Which means I can see what you are doing right now. PUT THAT AWAY.

Who are your best friends?
Sarah and Charles.

Do you talk to your old friends?
The ones that will still talk to me, sure.

How many piercings do you have
Still none.

How many tattoos?
Still one.

What kind of car do you have?
Driving Sarah’s old Mazda Protege with sorority stickers on the back. Wooooo!

What is your favorite band/group?
John Mayer, at the moment. I have a mancrush on him.

What is your biggest fear?
I try not to put voice to my fears (I find it tends to make it a little TOO real), but since I have a 5-month-old son, you can probably figure it out.

Have you been arrested, if so how many times total?
I have no recollection of that, Senator.

Has your heart been broken?
Not recently.

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter
Married. Still bitter, though. Ha ha! Just kidding! Put the knife down, honey!

Oh, Happy Halloween and whatnot.