I stayed home sick yesterday, because for the second time in under a month, I woke up feeling like Satan had peed fiery urine down my throat. (Yeah, think about that image for a while. Demons and golden showers…it’s a winning combination!) So I napped for a while, watched a little TV, checked email, did a little work from home.

I started feeling a little guilty for being useless, so I called my mom to see how my uncle (just had heart surgery) was doing; much better, apparently, which is superb news. I did some kitchen cleaning, set out some chicken to thaw for dinner, and said, “Hey, I’m gonna be making pies next week, I should go ahead and make the dough now and save time!”

So I kneaded up some of my mom’s patented pie crust recipe, which involves egg and vinegar, making things extra yum. Sadly, I didn’t have any vinegar that I could find. I substituted balsamic, which turned things an ominous color, but when everything was together I tasted the dough and it appeared to be fine. I set that in a bowl and refrigerated.

Next, I decided some cookies would be in order, so I threw together a low-carb/low-calorie peanut butter cookie batch and baked it up. Then I put on the new Diana Krall Christmas CD and sat in an easy chair with a blanket and a cat and read a book for an hour or so. Then to temper all that feminine crap I tore out some annoying sliding trays out of kitchen cabinet and replaced it with a single shelf. That was my day.

Oh, except for baking the chicken with minced garlic and powdered cloves. That was good.

Aren’t you happy to know how I spent my sick day? Then you’ll be thrilled to hear me relate this tale:

The things we do to lose weight and look good. Every floor of our building has a coke machine dispensing bottles of carbonated goodness. Sadly, the bottom 4 floors all were sold out of diet soda. Instead of getting regular coke and just taking the calories, I ran to the top (5th) floor, and ran back down, manboobs jiggling all the way! Aren’t you proud?

My life is boring and repetitive. Welcome to it, you crazy kids.

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