I’m sure many of you have been wondering: Hey! I know Matt must have done something highly amusing for Halloween. Where are the freakin’ pics of the hilarity? Well, bichon frisse, here you go. And worry not about the smallness of the imagery, as forsooth you can click on ’em and makes ’em real big-like. DO IT. DO IT.
| Here we have the Fantastic Four: Tinkerbell (Karen), Carl (yours truly), Death (Craig), and Flava Flav (Kasiem). You’ll note that Karen is rocking the cleavage: more on this to come. |
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| Nerd (Brian) and Tinkerbell flirt without shame. See how Brian gracefully bares his teeth to show his ability to bring down the wild boar (he’s a good provider!). Note Karen continuing to display her cleavage (she’s got a prodigious rack!). Young love; je t’adore. |
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| Venus (Kris) and Gypsy (Mel) display our 2006 model, the Ovenaire 2006xt! It can handle your stroganoff as well as your rack of lamb! Uh…girls…get out of the way…we can’t see the oven…oh, screw it. |
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| Yours truly rocks the Dance Dance Revolution. Note the form: take note, as I am a professional. |  |
| The onlookers marvel at my prodigious moves. (Seriously. I was unstoppable. I…am…a…DDR…god.) |  |
| Poor Kristy tries to match my flava. (I’m not lying about this. Both Kristy and Sarah are trained dancers, neither of whom could match my skeelz.) |  |
| Kristy goes for laughs. KICK IT, GIRL. KICK IT HARDER THAN IT HAD HERETOFORE BEEN KICK’D. |  |
| Brian, Barrett (Dr. Handlove or something) and Kyle (some kind of Greek god whose name escapes me) admire the view. The look on Kyle’s face is quite clear: “That’s it, hike up your dress, girl. DZAAAAMN look at dat booty!” It’s been a while for Kyle. (Welcome to marriage! HAHA! Who’s laughing now! Certainly not me.) |  |
| Sarah love you long time. (She so hawny.) |  |
| The next day, we went to watch Kyle play soccer. It was like watching me on DDR, I think; faster than the eye can follow. Kyle scored two goals. |  |
| Later, this young man was heard to say “No hay lugar como hogar” over and over and then disappeared, only to wake up with Auntie Inez and Uncle Pedro in Mexico City. |  |
| Kyle goes second knuckle. |  |
| Kyle takes a rest from the busy life of standing around waiting for somebody to kick the ball his way. |
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| Sarah and Kristy admire the way Kyle picks his butt. (It’s true. Sarah in particularly is fond of a good butt-picking.) |
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I‘m not sure why I turned out to be so good at DDR, but I’m pretty the game has very little to do with dancing, and a crapload more to do with:
- Rhythm. I got buttloads of it.
- Hours and hours of video game playing instead of doing something constructive with my life.
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