My days are getting pretty boring. Spend a bunch of time at work putting out small fires, come home, work on things around the house for a little while, maybe play some video games and drink a few beers, go to bed. Sometimes the fun gets broken up by a rehearsal of some kind, but mostly I’m leading a lazy life of leisure.
Clearly, I need to enliven things a bit.
Here’s my plan: I’m going to take up a new sport entitled Interstate Jogging. It involves running briskly along the side of I-95, dodging the bottles of pee being thrown from cars. Plus it’ll help get me in shape for all the times I have to run from cops, what with pedestrian traffic being illegal on interstates. Better yet, it’ll help keep my reflexes in check if I periodically sprint across the highway during rush hour!
Or maybe not. Hm. I’ve got it! Cricket Checkers! It’s just like regular checkers, except that when you king someone, a large robot whacks you in the kidneys with a cricket bat. No padding, ’cause padding is for girlie men, like Warren Sapp! Actually, now that I think about it, that game sounds a little too similar to Cricket Spades, which I played for a bit last spring. I’m still peeing blood.
Maybe I should take up acupuncture or yoga or something more calming. I dunno, though. My life is calm enough. I don’t want to start falling asleep while driving. Wait a second. That sounds pretty damned exciting. I’VE GOT IT! Narcoracing! You take powerful depressants of some kind, fall asleep, and have someone place you behind the wheel of a car, put a brick on the accelerator, throw that thing in gear, and have them shock you awake with electrical impulses after you’ve built up sufficient speed.
That sounds like it’d go great with Interstate Jogging, actually.
Reminds me of Novocaine Fighters…tee hee tee hee
Hearn, you are officially retarded.
In response to one of your other posts, I think Shaun Taylor-Corbett is fast becoming the sexiest man alive in my book. Damn if I had known about him In Jan. 2005 when Hi-5 was in concert in Baltimore. I live near there and might have given him a stalker’s hello.