Holy crap! Something happened yesterday afternoon that NEVER. EVER. HAPPENS. A woman walking by me as I took my daily constitutional asked me directions, and I actually knew where to tell her to go!
Normally, the only time people ask me directions is when I’m visiting a town that is completely foreign to me. This is due to my spectacular ability to fit in and look like a “local,” wherever I might be. It’s particularly noticeable in stores that I visit on the way home from work, because my security badge for my office looks pretty much the same as the ones that employees at major chain warehouses have; I’ll be wandering around aimlessly, looking for grommets or spinakers or whatever, and some poor soul will wander up to me and say, “Hi! Can you tell me where to find marital aids?” It’s a serious problem, I’m telling you.
Even more amusing is when I’m visiting a foreign country, say, Hungary, and someone comes up and says something to me in Hungarian, to which I respond, “Um…do you, uh, speak English?” And then they switch to English and ask me if I know where such-and-such museum is, DESPITE THE FACT THAT I CLEARLY DO NOT SPEAK THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND THEREFORE AM UNLIKELY TO KNOW A GREAT DEAL OF DETAIL ABOUT MY SURROUNDINGS. (It’s worth noting that this has never actually happened to me, but then, I’ve never been to Hungary. I’m pretty sure that if I were to visit there, it would happen.)
Yesterday, I was wandering down Chapel Street, enjoying the sun, and developing some really superb blisters on my feet (my shoe selection was not very good), when a rather portly latin-looking woman asked me if I knew where Matt Slap Subaru was. I bet this poor woman had never bothered someone on the street before whose eyes lit up like mine must have.
“Keep going that way, make a right, and you’ll see it!” I was almost jumping for joy. “It’s about a hundred yards down the street, on the right.”
“Uh . . . thanks,” she said, and strode away briskly, while I danced down the sidewalk with glee. I had done a good deed, and no one was going to take it away from me.
(Oh! Before you go, click this. Don’t worry, it’s not pr0n or anything; it’s something Brian made for me in his Flash class today, and it made me giggle a lot a lot.)
