The Big Piece
I love Ryan Howard. Not as much as I love, say, Chase Utley, but I love him nonetheless. A quote from Cliff Lee, the Phils starting pitcher for yesterday’s game:
That hit by Howard was the biggest and most impressive hit I’ve seen in my career. The only thing that might have made it better was if it woulda went out of the yard. He came down to the end of the bench and said, ‘Get me to the plate, boys.’
If you missed the game (because you’re an idiot), the Phils got solo home runs from Victorino and Werth and held the 2-0 lead until the bottom of the sixth, when Tulowitzki’s double scored Helton. In the bottom of the eighth, things fell apart for the good guys, when a series of base hits surrendered by Lee and then Ryan Madson led to three Rockies runs.
Of course, the 9th inning led to defibrillators being warmed up throughout the Delaware Valley. Uncle Cholly sent Greg “Lou” Dobbs up to bat for Ben Francisco, who had replaced Raul Ibanez in left field and taken the pitcher’s spot in the order (reason 3,273 why the National League is the only real major league: the double switch); Dobbs struck out. Jimmy Rollins hit a hard grounder past the mound, and while Barmes was able to snag it, he couldn’t get the ball to first in time to beat the speedy switch-hitter. Victorino then hit a weak grounder straight to Barmes, but was too fast for the double play; Rollins out at second on the fielder’s choice.
Victorino wasn’t being held on, so he quickly swiped 2nd base while Utley, with the best eye in professional baseball, worked a 2-out walk, bringing Ryan Howard, The Big Piece, to the plate. He worked the count, and finally got a ball he could clobber for a long double to the wall, scoring both Utley and Victorino (who was stupidly looking into the outfield and was almost overrun by Utley; head in the game, Shane). Finally Jayson “For What It’s” Werth singled, driving in a hard-running Howard, who had to sit down and have some oxygen afterwards.
Miguel Cairo, who I keep forgetting is on the roster, grounded out to 2nd.
Brad Lidge, whose sole purpose in life at this point is to force me to drink scotch, came in and got a quick ground-out from Eric Young Jr. Then Carlos Gonzalez got a single, and everyone’s sphincters tightened a bit. Dexter Fowler lined out to short and I peed my pants a little. Todd Helton singled, and I poured a big glass of whisky; the only thing that kept Gonzalez at second was that slipped on his way to third. Finally, Tulo couldn’t check his swing and struck out on a DELICIOUS slider from Lidge, and I was glad I’d invested in adult diapers.
The National League Championship Series opens at Dodger Stadium on Thursday at 8pm. “Get me to the plate, boys,” indeed.
