Okay, I think it’s time to admit it. To come clean. Despite being born and raised within 25 miles of Philadelphia, I have come down with a serious case of Red Sox Fevah.
Don’t worry; I’m still a Phillies fan. It’s just that, darn it, until the Phillies are willing to shell out the cash for a legitimate starting pitcher (the Millwood for Estrada trade is starting to look pretty disastrous at this point), I’ve got to have SOMEBODY to root for when the post-season rolls around. It’s not gonna be the Yankees, since supporting them is like supporting Al-Quäde, and it’s not going to be another National League team (I figure you can be permitted to cheer for one team in each league; whichever team is closest to your house, and whichever team in the opposite league has the most depressing history).
So the Sawx it is. Anyway, you can’t beat the Red Sawx for having the coolest cast of characters:
Bless’d be the little children and the hanging curveball.
- Pedro Martinez, who stole Eriq La Salle’s “Soul Glow” Jheri-curl from “Coming to America.”
- David “Papi” Ortiz: has anybody checked to see if he and Mo Vaughan have ever been in a room together? I’m just asking.
- Curt Schilling, whom I would like to sex up.
- Jesus. How can you fail to win a series with Jesus leading off for you? Even if he is 2 for 24?
- Terry Francona, who is an excellent driver. Excellent, excellent driver.
Compare this of course to the Yankees:
- Derek Jeter, who is a tool.
- A-Rod. The door on his closet is definitely glass. And you can see a lot of leather pants hanging in there with him, along with one pair of bright red stilettos.
- Joe Torre, who needs to come manage the Phils.
- Jorge Posada, who lacks a chin.
So anyway, hopefully you all watched last night’s games, because they were OFF THE CHAIN. Gotta love 6 hour marathon games, particularly when your team ends up winning, and just in time to switch to the other game and see Jeff Kent hit a MONSTER home run to left field. Great times.
Hopefully Schilling will get a double dose of whatever they’re shooting into his ankle and he’ll come out and throw 7 scoreless innings while Ortiz and Manny go yard a couple times a piece and score Jesus and Cabrera, each of which goes 3 for 3 with a walk, 4 runs, and 2 RBI.
You gotta believe.
