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Archive for December, 2009

Condensed hatred

December 29th, 2009 No comments

Now. We all know that I love my iPhone. It’s like a tiny God. (For a time, I even named it “Cohen,” after the Jewish tribe of Aaron, those responsible for priestly duties, because it is my immediate and direct contact to the great infinite deity that is The Internets. Now it’s named the Admirable Crichton, after the notable Scottish polymath.) Most people feel the same way, and almost everyone, and certainly Michael Wolff, agrees that AT&T sucks.


Is it mere success, as AT&T seems to suggest? The iPhone is just too popular, straining its network. The fault, in other words, lies with consumer demand and great design, and not with AT&T and its resources and infrastructure.


But how come for the last two years I go dead in the East Thirties, on 57th Street and Sixth, on 72nd and Madison, on Bleeker and Lafayette, on the Williamsburg Bridge, and about a hundred other specific locations I’m too irate to remember now?


And more to the point, even if it is just success, what kind of crappy excuse is that? Am I supposed to be proud of you, AT&T, because you didn’t have the sense to foresee that the iPhone would be wildly popular, and expand your infrastructure to support it? You’ve got a lot of sack signing and exclusive contract with Apple, and charging me $170 a month for a two-phone plan, and saying “Hey, if everybody didn’t use their phones so much, it wouldn’t be a problem!”


Screw you, AT&T. And while I’m on a consumer rant, I’d like to give a big Eff You to the Claymont Steak Shop, a staple of North Wilmington for donkeys’ years. Apparently they changed ownership a few years back, and have been coasting on the reputation of the previous management. On Sunday we ordered some steaks and sides, and were told “15 minutes.” 10 minutes later, I made the 5-minute walk, and was told that the Strombolis were done, but the steaks were not. That’s a well-timed cooking operation. Even I know to get all the food done at the same time.


So I waited, and listened to countless other customers complain about how long things were taking, to which the blond woman with the funny accent who was throwing sandwiches into bags invite anyone who wasn’t happy to get their money back and leave. (I can only assume she was one of the owners, but it seems likely.) One poor couple insisted they’d been coming to the shop for years and had never been treated like this, to which Blondie replied that no one else was complaining, which was horseshit, since the only person not complaining was me, because of my overwhelming desire to not get my food spat in by some woman who may have a disease she picked up in prison in her homeland.


Hey Claymont Steak Shop? Suck it. If you don’t have the brains to foresee a big customer rush at 6pm on a Sunday during football season, and allocate resources appropriately, then I’m afraid you get to listen to customers whine about it. Also: when customers make reasonable complaints, such as “This is taking too long,” you apologize, and maybe offer some free fries or something. Saying “You can see how busy we are” is not a valid excuse. Lastly: if you’re busy, perhaps telling your phone clerks to let people know that the food might take a while might be the move. Because if they say 15 minutes, and I show up 15 minutes later and the food’s not ready and you’re being a crackhead whore, I’m going to write rude things about you on my blog.


If AT&T and the Claymont Steak Shop were an ice-cream flavor, they’d be pralines and dick.


</RANT>

Categories: wtf Tags:

Be good, for goodness sake

December 28th, 2009 No comments

Categories: wtf Tags:

Regifting

December 24th, 2009 No comments

‘Tis bettet to give than receive, says Scott Meyer:



Highlarious.

Categories: a beautiful thing, mad fun Tags:

Worst Christmas card ever

December 22nd, 2009 1 comment

Andrew Sullivan’s filler-in-ers have been posting links to “depressing Christmas songs,” and of course how can you do that without Tom Waits?


Categories: a beautiful thing, sad Tags:

For your AWESOMENESS

December 11th, 2009 1 comment

So the other day I was poking around Amazon, looking for Christmas presents for my peeps and bopeeps, and came across Adam Lambert’s new album, which I would never buy. The album cover made me giggle, so I sent a link to my boy Brian:



(I believe the comment I made was, “In a related story, Adam Lambert is gay.” This was in bad taste, not least because I know a lot of gay men, and not one of them dresses like a chorus member from Xanadu The Musical.)


Brian, who is deft with The Photoshop, immediately produced this, which might be the greatest thing since the domestication of the pig:



I may actually end up having to record a bunch of Adam Lambert covers so I can release an album with this cover.

Categories: a beautiful thing, wtf Tags:

Can you count to 81?

December 8th, 2009 No comments

You like number games? Sudoku? Ken-Ken? Then take Numbrix to the house. You’ll be glad you did! Also you’ll be ensmarten’d.

Categories: mad fun Tags:

Idiots (myself included)

December 7th, 2009 1 comment

Argh. In my post from Friday, I linked to an article at Delaware Online that I believed was recent, and it turns out to be from several years ago. The bed and breakfast mentioned there-in is actually up the street from me, and my father told me that it went out of business several years ago. A big thanks to the News Journal and DelawareOnline.com, which instead of actually dating each article, just print today’s date at the top, so you have no way of knowing if the article is from yesterday or from 1997. (Add this to the reasons that I don’t bother getting the News Journal delivered to my home.)

Categories: wtf Tags:

The ‘Mont

December 4th, 2009 No comments

Here’s a nice story about the emerging awesomeness of my new ‘hood:

A growing group of residents and business owners – new and old – wants to uncover Claymont’s built-in beauty, revive its flagging spirit and improve its sagging property values.


The goal is daunting, but the coalition has not recoiled from the fact that its community needs a lot of work – inside and out.


“If you can’t handle honesty, you can’t live in Claymont,” said Ellie Kwick, who has lived there all of her 63 years.

Categories: a beautiful thing, musings Tags:

Trains and automobiles; no planes

December 1st, 2009 No comments

It’s the most craziest tiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeear! Also: It’s gettin’, it’s gettin’, it’s gettin’ kinda hectic. We’re trying to take the kids to as much cool holiday stuff as possible, so Saturday we dragged both urchins and both of Sarah’s parents to the Auburn Heights Preserve, which I honestly had never even heard of despite living in Delaware for 30 years. They have 1/8-scale steam-powered trains to sit on and ride around (they are not what I would describe as “Pullman-car comfortable,” but still fun), and what is probably the largest collection of steam-powered Stanley automobiles around. Did I take pictures? You bet your sweet patoot.

Categories: a beautiful thing, mad fun Tags: