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Singaling Dragon

Apropos of nothing, here is a list of song titles you will never hear:

“I Love You So Much (I Shat Myself)” “Bacon Me All Over” “Once, Twice, Three Times a Single Bit Memory Error” “I Heart Urinal Cake” “The Eva Braun Blues” “I Want To Taste Your Kidneys” “You Broke My Heart (And Also […]

I am too blown away to type a title

I spit links ’cause baby I can’t talk it

Link day! It’s been a while, I’ve got the hot stuff to share.

Like photography? Check out this portfolio commenting on how animals interact with the humans that roll all up in their shizzito. Note: the shots were staged with taxidermicalated critters, so don’t worry when you see, say, a little girl in a swimsuit […]

Slow, painful, angry death

Since I reach a significant Age next week, I had to go to the DMV and renew my license. My car is also going to require renewal in two months, so I figured, hell, they’ll let me do it now, why not kill two birds with one stone! Particularly when those birds are massive, slavering […]

Nasal stabbings

Can somebody explain to me this new thing where all the ladies are getting their noses pierced? It started at as something you’d see amongst the hard core body decorators, or among certain ethnic groups as a cultural or religious thing, but now I’m seeing just every day skanks showing up with rhinestones jabbed into […]

How To Gain 15 Pounds Of Fat In Just Six Weeks!

Hi! I’m Matt Hearn, and I’m here to tell you that you, too, can learn the secrets of gaining weight. Just listen to these testimonials! “Using Matt Hearn’s plan, I gained 8 pounds in just under a month! Then I met a dude that digs fat chicks! ALL RIGHT!” – Tara Lipzinsky “I had always […]

Sing me a song

I’m a little apprehensive about sharing this, because, to be frank, I basically poured my heart and soul into it for the better part of two weeks, and I’m still not sure if it’s good. When I listen to it, I’m greatly disappointed, but I usually am when I listen to my own stuff. I’ll […]

Happy New Year!

This is something that had to be shared with everyone on the internet, as fast as humanly possible, with no time for proper scanning and editing, because it is brilliant to the point of personal pain. I give you the new webcomic, written by me and ingeniously illustrated by my sister Liz: Bach v. Handel. […]