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I love the farmer’s market. Other than Walmart, there’s simply no place you can go to get that warm, fuzzy feeling of smug superiority, and Walmart doesn’t feature Amish folks exhibiting their own special brand of eccentricity. At least, the Walmart in New Castle, Delaware doesn’t. (That particular Walmart is a true hotbed of intellectualism; […]

I’m working one of those ridiculous jobs in which I’m up all night, sleeping all day, and drinking the blood of hookers I dump in the woods of South Jersey. I mean…well, dang. Anyway, the gist of this is that I have little time for such frivolities as “blog posts” or “pooping,” but because I’m […]

Welcome to Spring! It couldn’t have come soon enough, as far as I’m concerned. You may recall last week we had SNOW, and just 4 days ago the wind and rain and temperatures were that of a normal January day. And it sucked. Like whoa.

Now we’re going to get a week of warm […]

My office has geese. Not, like, indoors; that would probably interfere with our business processes, and Baby Jesus knows we have more than enough problems already. No, the geese are outside, but they are plentiful, and they have distinctive personalities.

I know what you’re thinking; geese are geese, man! Even worse, they’re Canadians! But […]

A Work of Fiction.

Chapter 1

“Jimmy, you know, you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Bob smiled warmly, as if he had just dispensed sage advice on a loving disciple.

I hated my job, and Bob Roop was a big reason why. He was only […]

I know nobody really wants to read about the weather; either you’re local to me, and already aware of it, or you’re not, in which case it’s not a concern for you. Nevertheless, what in the ham-handed hell? There was SNOW this morning in North Wilmington, which is like 10 miles north of me. It […]

Lots o’ little thangs:

Some new photos over at CharlesHearn.com, check them out with great gusto. This Don Imus thing has gotten out of hand, for reals. At this point, listening to the racial opinions of a nearly 70-year-old white guy in a ridiculous hat makes about as much sense as listening to my great-grandfather […]

It’s been a tough couple of weeks for baseball. Teams in the Midwest are losing entire series because of SNOW. (Even here in the East temps are topping out at a balmy 50 most days. And tonight there’s supposed to be rain! Argh.) The Indians are playing their Seattle series in Milwaukee, which is a […]

I’ll tell you, having kids produces some highs and lows. And I haven’t even gotten to the point where Charles is reporting amusing anecdotes about other people’s thighs, or reminding us that it’s time to eat by repeatedly pointing at his wristwatch and gaping mouth. So far the greatest thing Charles does is grin like […]

To cap off a week of not posting any funny stuff at all (for reals, it’s like I’ve turned into Thomas Pynchon, except that Thomas Pynchon probably never took a picture of his junk and put it on the interwebs), here are some shots I took whilst a-wandering aimlessly around The City Of New York […]