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I’m feeling a little guilty for going silent for the better part of a week and then giving you a weird one-man-show transcript and a link to some monkey videos. Somehow it just didn’t feel right, even as I hit the publish button and walked away whistling the tune to “Loser” by Beck. So I […]

Hi, Mom! It’s me! Matt! Uh, your eldest child? Yeah, I get it, I never call anymore, right. I’m calling right now! And I called last week! I’ve been busy, is all . . . yeah, the show . . . no, Mom, Brigadoon was last year. This year we’re doing South Pacific. Yes, I […]

Fun links day! WOOOOOOO! Political Correctness continues its inexorable march towards the complete destruction of humanity. I really hope this is true and verifiable. Not that I’m particularly eager for people to die, but it seems like that’s the only way to demonstrate to people that their ideas suck. They certainly don’t listen to reason. […]

I’m going to stop listening to people who recommend movies to me, because apparently the only side of me they see is the cursing, farting, beer-guzzling fat man that enjoys nothing more than wet t-shirt contests and animated gifs of men getting kicked in the junk. Not that any of these things are false; but […]

Since I’m sure so many of you spent Sunday morning at your respective places of worship, fervently praying that I would get through my mountain bike race without injury, I thought I would do you a solid and give you the rundown of the pain that I went through this weekend, in the form of […]

Caption this, please, in the comments:

(My first suggestion is in the comments.)

Two things you should see:

My 2 minutes of fame this week.

Milo‘s latest creation.

That is all.

No, I’m not dead. No, I didn’t give up on the website or something. Y’all punks need to CHILLAX. I’m here, I’m weird, get used to it.

I just went on vacation, yo. I would have announced that I was leaving before I actually left, but that struck me as a singularly bad idea, […]