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A buddy of mine sent me an email generated by some company containing helpful tips about workplace etiquette and safety. Since I know we all could stand to be a little more safe at the office, what with me constantly getting emails reading “Matt, I accidentally stapled myself in the eye again. What am I […]

I think HW is mad at me.

And here the younger portion of the audience is thinking, “I wonder what she said to him?” To which I (and every man with a long-term significant other) reply: HA. HA HA HA. Hold for a moment whilst I repair my split sides with duct tape and […]

I have learned another lesson today: even zombies can suffer from tooth decay.

I had a dentist appointment scheduled back in September that got rained out. Before you ask, NO, my dentist doesn’t work outside, scraping at people’s teeth during breaks between horse-shoeing appointments. On the date in question, it rained all day, such […]

An old dying woman stole my soul last night on the way to rehearsal.

I’m seriously serious. I think. I’m not sure. I have no soul.

I got in my truck (running late, as usual) and made the first left turn onto the main street in our development, just behind an ambulance running […]

Wild weekend, I’ll tell you. Nipples, NBA fistfights, girls making out, fried turkeys, it had everything but the Kitchen Sink, which I almost ordered at the Charcoal Pit on Friday to gross out my friends.

Friday we went to see the Brandywine High School play, “You Can’t Take It With You,” which was pretty damned […]

Man, yesterday’s post sure generated some commentary! Mostly by one short-bus-riding friend of mine who is suffering under the delusion that John Mayer is not totally rad. That is sad. I recommend lobotomy.

Today I would like to celebrate the life of this man:

Mr. Gary Wayne Rodgers.

Gary Wayne, long a fixture […]

So I was thinking the other day about H. Jackson Brown‘s “Life’s Little Instruction Book,” that nifty little tome filled with helpful, often contradictory tidbits to help you along with life. I realized that I, through my 26-odd years of existence on earth, have learned a great number of things that I am remiss if […]

It’s not every day you get quoted in a column by Lileks, so I’m milking it for all it’s worth. Read that in lieu of my usual insanity. Good stuff here tomorrow, methinks.

[Sadly, James does ascribe Mozart to the Baroque period, despite the fact that the High Baroque is usually considered to have ended […]

This column originally started out: What is it about Tuesdays, people? Yesterday was the second Tuesday in a row I had to make an emergency run to the data center to deal with something.

Then on Wednesday, the same thing happened, so I didn’t get to post.

Thursday: also found myself at the […]

Ladies and gentlemen.

The picture page that will change your life.

I present to you:

Halloween Party 2004