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No apologies this time. I’ve been unable to write due to severe writer’s block, and I refuse to apologize for something that is not my fault. I don’t really have anything good for today either. So what you’re going to get is a rambling, meandering column, and while this may prove difficult to read, it […]

It’s been a few days since an update, and I had one all set up for yesterday afternoon, until my computer lost it. ::sob:: I’ll try and have something for tomorrow. Meanwhile, sign this petition. And no, it’s not something about getting Bush out of office, or getting his Joseph-Merrick-lookalike opponent in. It’s for an […]

Sorry for no update yesterday, but I had a horrific herpes breakout, and spent all day in my doctor’s waiting room with a bowl of disinfectant (you know, for dipping) and some steel wool.

I mean, uh, I was, um, tired. That’s it. That other stuff was, um, a typo. Yeah, that’s the ticket, […]

Let’s talk about urinals. (Great lede, huh?)

The men’s bathroom on my floor of our office building has two urinals. A short one, and a tall one. This produces many a mental quandary when using the facilities, as when one enters, you have to weigh the various options and make a decision based on […]

This edition of Fantasy Sports Expertise is brought to you by Scratcho-brand Anti-Itch medication! Just rub it anywhere, and ignore the permanent scarring!

It’s time for me to share with all of you why I am the fantasy football king. Okay, I haven’t won a championship since 2001. Okay, I’ve been steadily getting worse […]

What the hell is up with USA basketball? I watched most of the game yesterday against Puerto Rico and it was like Carlos Arroyo just squatted down in the middle of the floor and made the American squad roll around in his eliminations. Truly horrific. From what I remember, our heroes were something like 3/26 […]

Those of you who don’t see me very often probably haven’t been aware that I’ve lost a rather significant amount of weight; I’m down to about 220 lbs, from nearly 260 at the beginning of the year. I was a big mammajamma.

(For those who are curious how I did it, I attribute the […]

Was anyone else aware that Bondo, when mixed, turns bright pink? I opened up the tub of filler, noted the expected grey color of the material inside, and then wondered what the other tube of stuff was for. Well, it’s the “hardener,” since apparently Bondo doesn’t just harden on its own. The hardener itself is […]

Okay, sorry, I have to thank a few folks. It’s like I won an Oscar! Well, maybe not. More like a Daytime Emmy. Also, since I own the website, there’s no way the orchestra is going to play me off! I’ll try to actually make it a worthwhile read for those of you who aren’t […]

I’ve finally updated the Favorite Searches page, with some stuff from July, including comments.

Sorry I haven’t had an actual column in like 5 days. I promise to have SOMETHING tomorrow, even if it might kinda suck.