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Belatedly, here are the promised images of our third Wunderkind, William Harold, who is extremely rad.

I will admit that we are a “Dancing With The Stars” household, as well as a “So You Think You Can Dance” household. Sarah’s a dancer, so it’s sort of obvious that she enjoys them, but I like them as well, oddly. On the other hand, I can’t watch “American Idol” or “The Voice” for more than about 30 seconds before I get so angry that I fling things at the TV. I have figured out why all this is: I’m a musician, specifically a singer. So when other people “sing” on TV, I know they suck. I can hear that they sing slightly off-key, that they don’t know anything about phrasing or diction, even though the bulk of viewers cannot. When I watch dancing shows, I can’t really tell what sets apart a great dancer from one who is merely competent, I just know that a dude flung a chick through his legs and then leapt* backwards over her while peeling off the outer layer of his costume to reveal his extremely ripped physique, just as the girl catches him with her feet and maybe accidentally a little bit of boob falls out for a second.

None of that is relevant to what I’m about to say. The take-away: we like the dancing shows, we Hearns.

Anyway, there’s quite a hilarious uproar going on over at the DWTS (that’s Dancing With The Stars for you un-fans) Cast Announcement page. You see, Chaz Bono is participating in this year’s competition. Chaz is famous for two things: being Sonny and Cher’s son, and until a little over a year ago, being Sonny and Cher’s daughter. That’s right, DTWS is having a transgender competitor!

Now, those of us who are rational human beings think this is either a non-event, or possibly an indicator that maybe network TV is nearly entering the 21st century on the subject of LGBT issues. Those of us who are not rational human beings are predicting the end of the world and/or a general boycott of the show. Some of the better comments:

_cindyk52

1 hour ago

Irregardless of all that is said; with both sides hammering away at each other with their opinions; the bottom line is, for me, Chastity Bono has made her choice to flaunt her lifestyle out into the world, and now I make my choice to not watch DWTS. God says her choice is an abomination, and I will honor what the Creator of the universe has commanded. She needs to repent and get right with God.

“Irregardless!” Classic. This one’s tip-top too:

mamafranof4

7 hours ago

I have not missed a season of dancing with the stars, but this one I will not watch until Chasty is voted out, God created a women and God does not make mistakes,God is very loving to his people ,but is very clear about hating sin, and it is very clear in the Bible that if YOU lay down with the same sex you will burn in hell. So who do we pick God or Dancing with the stars( HUM LET ME THINK)

I think this is the best of the bunch:

zorinsecurity

1 hour ago

Well let’s get to the point.Chaz is a women.DNA says so.No matter how many bmw emblems you put on a honda doesn’t make it a bmw.Call the dmv. Ponder this.If there was a crime and they had chaz dna.what would they be looking for? wait for it….. WOMEN. She has a mental disorder.She thanks she is a man,lol Next week maybe she will thank she is a dog.

I’d like to remind you that “zorinsecurity,” whoever s/he is, is almost certainly eligible to vote. Not just in DWTS, but in actual American political elections. Just, you know, pointing that out.

The best part are the replies, mostly from open-minded folks, simply tearing these people apart. For example, here are some replies to zorinsecurity’s last post:

LIGHT2YOU

50 minutes ago

Actually…Not. Your ignorance is showing. Go read up on the subject.

Just.DFax

35 minutes ago

Transgender is not a mental illness, look it up. A lack of education and understanding leads to fear, which leads to hate. The cure is education. If you read up on the subject, the fear will go away and maybe you’ll cure yourself of the hate… and maybe even your English.

VermillionR

1 hour ago

Your spelling and grammar should make you think a little harder the next time you post something online…

I haven’t chimed in yet, because I try to avoid interacting with the catastrophically stupid, but y’all are welcome to. Have at it!

(Personally, I’ll be supporting Carson Kressley, that guy KILLS me.)

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*I’m a little annoyed that Firefox doesn’t know the word “leapt.” Ain’t nobody down with archaicisms. (It also doesn’t know the word “archaicism,” possibly because it’s not a word.)

Holy crap! I don’t sound like complete ass! Here is mp3 evidence:
The People That Walked In Darkness
Right?

Josephine receives a kitty card from her lovely Auntie Rach. In lieu of subtitles, here’s how it went down: “Kitty! Meow!” ::hug::

This is quite lovely.

When gay marriage became legal in the District, Henry set his sights on a wedding. Bob wanted no part of it. “We’re accepted as two human beings, always as a couple. I said, ‘I don’t see any reason for it,’ ” he recalls. “Besides that, Vera Wang will never make a gown for me to wear.”

Henry reminded Bob of the reaction to the Helen Hayes Awards speech. Their shared life is the contribution they’ve made to the gay rights movement, he argued, and marriage solidifies that. “We’ve been an example,” he says.

So on June 20, at 5 p.m., the white-haired men walked out onto the balcony of the presidential suite of the J.W. Marriott and faced each other under an arch of billowing silk and saffron-colored flowers. Sixty-two years — to the hour — after they got together in that Baltimore bar, Bob and Henry were wed.

Here’s an interesting tidbit:

“We’re not only friends, we’re lovers, we’re brothers and, incidentally, along the way, in 1990, I legally adopted Bob.”

True story. When Henry was 69, he legally adopted Bob, who was 70. It gave them legal protections, offered an advantageous inheritance tax rate and made the pair into a family.

Moral of the story:

These six decades together have gone “like that!” Henry says, snapping his fingers. “It’s like life goes. My advice to anybody is, ‘For God’s sakes, enjoy your life.’ “

And now: the always enjoyable giant inflatable beaver.

I plan to be fabulously wealthy when I die. There are many reasons for this, but one of them is that I want to make sure I leave a subsidy in my estate to pay for all of my funeral attendees to have outfits from the company that made Norway’s curling team’s pants. You can’t tell me I wouldn’t be the belle of the links in these puppies:

Oh HELLS yes.

UPDATE, 2/9/10: I was on NBC 10 News! I looked fat.

I was supposed to do the Lewes Polar Bear Plunge today, but unfortunately it snowed 2 feet all over the state so they had to postpone it. Sadly, I can’t make the new date. Obviously I can’t refund the donations (and wouldn’t if I could, since they go to the Special Olympics), but I felt I owed something to the donors. (If you’d like to add to the donation list, you can do so here). So instead, I did this. (I apologize for the horrible video quality; we’re the last family in America without a video camera, so HW’s holding my Blackberry. It’s hard to even see my face, but trust me: it’s me.)

It was chilly.

A flip of the beanie to Andrew for this’n:

‘Tis bettet to give than receive, says Scott Meyer:

Highlarious.