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Eating is bad for youuuuu

Ah, weekends.

Weekends are hard, as you probably are aware. I was a good little boy, staying under 2000 calories every day last week, until Friday when I think I topped out at 3500, but I had also lifted weights and bicycled 10 miles that day, so I didn’t feel too bad. Then we had […]

Trying not to drown

It occurred to me that writing these things first thing in the morning and talking about the previous day is kinda dumb; it’s better for me to post them in the evening and talk about that day, so that’s what I’ma be doin’ from here on out. I also realized that links aren’t getting posted […]

Back, and ready to bore you with everything I can possibly muster!

So here’s the good news: I’m back! For the foreseeable future, I intend fairly frequent updates to this jaun so that I can keep you all in stitches and possibly also change your life, brah.

Here’s the bad news: the basic underlying reason that my posts stopped is unchanged, namely, I’m insanely busy with a […]

Discuss ALL the things!

Let’s blast through a number of interesting topics on this Freaky Friday: I’m always amazed at people who think that stuff happens to them in some kind of vacuum. Folks who associate with douchebags, and then are surprised when those douchebags treat them like crap. Folks who have 4 kids with 3 different partners and […]

Suarez vs. Evra II: Let it go already

I know that 1) it’s not Monday, so what the H am I doing updating on here, and 2) I’m one of maybe three Americans who care a whit about the English Premier League, but I’ve been hearing a lot of people poop all over Luis Suarez this week, and I wanted to get my […]

The Big Game and Ruggers

I’m becoming less and less of a professional football fan every year, because at heart I am a 77-year-old man that doesn’t like children on his lawn. I don’t like all the celebrating, I don’t like that nobody but Jesus-freaks in Denver run the option anymore, and because I am a complicated fellow, I dislike […]

US Closed-off

I am not a patient person. Among my manifold faults, impatience is the greatest and most shameful. It causes me to be a worse father than I should be, and, coupled with a twisted sense of justice, a particularly bad driver. So you can only imagine how much I enjoyed waiting in line at the […]

Stop ruining things

I love the Olympics. I really do. I’ll watch just about all of it, from figure-skating to snowboarding to luge to curling. Women’s curling, even, although in my defense, American skip Debbie McCormick is strangely intoxicating.

I even watched, and thoroughly enjoyed, biathlon. Of course, what beginning skiier, when waiting in a 45-minute line for […]

Spread ’em

A nice football weekend for me, I went 3-4, picking all the spread winners and only missing my money-line selection on Dallas, although in my defense even a spread pick on them would have failed since Brett Favre made them his prison girlfriend. Thoughts that occurred to me: I picked Dallas to win outright because […]

Let the dogs out

Argh. To expand on what I said on Twitter, rooting for the Eagles is a lot like going to a bar with friends, randomly meeting an attractive woman, hit it off with her, take her home, start making out, she takes off your pants, and then punches you in the balls as hard as she […]