Hi, my name is Matt, and I'm a Facebook addict. Here is my story.

A friend suggested I sign up, so I did so, back in August. I was immediately intrigued by the complete lack of all the annoying crap that makes MySpace suck donkey teat (ads, overwhelming page designs), but was frustrated by the fact that I couldn't FIND anybody. I could only seem to search my own "network," and only in a way that basically presented to me every Facebook account in the Greater Wilmington Area, which is several thousand people. Left with no option (I believed) but searching through poorly alphabetized lists of people I don't know, I said "F This" and went back to my life of chasing my son and watching Doctor Who.

And then my boy Shaun TC added me as a friend; I got the notification email, and said to myself, "Meh. Let's go see." I confirmed his friendship, and then scanned his friends list for people I knew. Hm...there were many. I added them. Then I added their friends. Then I added my friend's friends' friends' friends. Plus, I discovered that the way I had been searching was faulty; once corrected, I found even MORE people.

Now my social life has been quantified: I have 144 friends. The ramifications of this are as yet unclear. Also, I'm in touch with people I quite literally have not communicated with since 1994. And I refresh my Facebook homepage every 15 minutes, looking for new Wall posts and pictures.

When do I sleep? I don't.

In an completely unrelated story, "Under African Skies" by Paul Simon just popped up in iTunes, so you'll forgive me, I need to take a brief moment to bust it.

Bust what?

A move.