I go through cell phones like Rosie O'Donnell goes through butter. I try and pick phones of good quality, but they just don't last. I'm clumsy, and so they get dropped and banged into things and suddenly they don't work so grood anymore.

My last phone was some kind of flip-phone with a camera in it. Totally awesome, and completely useless for about the last 6 months because I simply couldn't be heard on it. The phone before that, I actually paid for the stupid coverage plan, which was nice because when it broke, twice, it was replaced each time.

As soon as I'm eligible for a new phone, I immediately buy one, so I'm on, I think, mobile phone #5. My wife is 2 years into #2, the first one having lasted, I believe, 6 years. Unbelievable.

Anyway, I bought me a Sanyo Katana, which is black and has a camera and eentarweb and omg it is so awesome. I then shelled out an additional $19.99 for Xingtones, which is software that you can use to record, edit, and upload your own ringtones to your phone. Yes: by this weekend I intend to have my phone sing "2 Legit 2 Quit" whenever my wife calls me.

Oh, and if you've called me in the last couple months, my phone hasn't worked, which is why I haven't answered. It works now! I'm ready to be friends again!